Take a Deep Breath and Don't Do Preschool (Part 1)

a note before you read: I wrote this post primarily for families who are considering homeschooling and whose oldest children are preschool age.  And I wrote it as a way to clarify my own thoughts on the subject for my own family.  It is not a tirade against traditional preschool or a judgement piece on families who do have children in traditional preschool.  After all, I went to preschool and turned out awesome! so I'm definitely not anti-preschool =)  I'm a fan of choices when it comes to deciding how we'll educate our kids.  We live in a country where we are blessed with a variety of education options.  I wrote this for myself and for those who are considering the option of homeschooling for the first time.

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I admit it's a little strange to be writing a series on homeschool "preschool" in order to tell you not to even given two thoughts to "preschool."  But, hear me out.

I'm writing from experience.  And I'm writing to remind myself.  And I'm writing because an old high school acquaintance recently messaged me with an interest in homeschooling and questions about keeping preschool-aged kids home.  

Parents considering homeschooling for the first time, I remember being in your shoes - having a kid approaching school age and the pressure mounting to make a decision about something I didn't really know much about.  I remember feeling that I wasn't ready to send my son to a Pre-K 3/4 program, wondering what made it different than daycare, wondering if there was anything there that would merit him being away from me and home for several hours each day, and feeling strongly that I wanted him to stay home with me.  I didn't want him to go to preschool, but wasn't exactly sure where that left us at home.  I was pretty sure that I didn't need to buy a chalkboard, play teacher, or buy  a pre-packaged preschool curriculum with coloring books and work books and alphabet stickers.  So I didn't.

You may also be wondering, what will I need to do at home to "make up for" what she'll miss if I don't send her to preschool.  Breath easy.  It's so much easier than you think; it's the same thing you've been doing since they were born.   If having your three and four year-olds at home looks different than when you had them home at age two, you might be over-thinking the early years of homeschooling.  It pretty much "looks" like all the other stuff you've been doing because there's no need to do more.  I think trying to do something fancy and formal for homeschool preschool is a mistake.  I think if your preschool aged children stay home with you, you shouldn't be "doing preschool."   You should continue parenting.

I *try* not to write blog posts about other people, so I'm definitely aiming to keep this mostly about me and my kids.   But I confess, I always cringe a little when I read or hear that someone is homeschooling and "oh, by the way, our oldest is 3!"  What could they possibly be doing that they're calling school??????  (My oldest is only 8, so even I sometimes look at what we're doing and wonder how "schoolish" is this compared to what moms with high schoolers are doing??  I feel like a bit of a fraud ;) )  

I've had (and have) some preschoolers, but I wouldn't say we do preschool.  I think there were a few months where I might have slid down the slippery slope of homeschooling enthusiasm and jumped the gun and did some Letters of the Week with Aaron when he was four.  No one was scarred for life, but I think I'd take it back if I could.  For the most part, my young children stay home because they are my young children, not because I'm going to school them.  

I recall when we were first in the throes of deciding if we would send Aaron to preschool or not, it was often the first thing strangers would ask about:  "Oh, where is he going to school?"  We had looked at a couple programs and I had met with a handful of school principals, and we ultimately decided he would not go to traditional preschool, and then not Kindergarten, and then not first grade.  But when Aaron was four and people asked if he was in school, I couldn't yet bring myself to answer, "We homeschool."  Because... well, he was four.  And we weren't really doing any schooling.  Because he was four!  He was home with me because he was a very young child, I didn't work outside the home, and I honestly wasn't convinced there was a benefit to sending him elsewhere given those circumstances.  I believe he had a great fifth year of life because he was with me.

He learned stuff at home, for sure.  But I wasn't schooling him.  I was being his parent.  He was home because he was my child.  Not because the local preschools were scary or were renowned for their poor test scores or because I needed him to start. phonics. now.

Do three and four year old children need a lesson plan, an educational philosophy, or seat work to thrive?  From my limited experience, it appears they thrive on attention,  loving guidance and discipline, activity, wonder, investigation, imagination, free time to play, and opportunities to exercise their natural curiosity and creativity.  And as far as my limited experience has shown me, those things happen a-plenty in parenting, day to day life in the family, in and around the home with Mom and Dad and siblings. Just because your little ones are learning doesn't mean it's school.  It's life.  

Solid, wholesome, flourishing parent-child relationships are more important to preschoolers, than is preschool.  Many families excel at forming and growing those relationships even while their children are in a traditional preschool!   (See!  I'm not anti-school!)  When you and I choose to skip traditional preschool for our children it shouldn't be to do intense desk work with them one on one, but instead to take advantage of the blessing and opportunity we have to continue guiding and forming them close to home.  If we have the resources and ability to keep them home, I hope we don't call it "homeschooling."  When they're three and four - it's parenting, it's family life - and it should be happening in the home whether or not our children are enrolled in a preschool or are with Mom and/or Dad all day.  

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So, veteran parents, what's your best advice for parents who are considering homeschooling for the first time or even for parents who may not be considering homeschooling but are just not ready for their kiddos to be "in school" at age three or four?  

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I invite you to stop back later this week for Parts 2 and 3 in which I'll chat about my ideas for what to do instead of preschool and how to gently start homeschooling with young kiddos.  Hope you'll join me!