Summer -- Time to Ramp Things Up, Homeschool Mom!

Dear Friend and Fellow Homeschooling Mom, 

I was flattered that you turned to me in your recent confusion and uncertainty, but I admit I wasn't too surprised to get your Facebook request for summer activity ideas for kids.  You're not alone.  Every year around May I start to ponder the changes that we'll make now that the end of the official school year is nigh and summer is nearly upon us.  

Summer brings a lot of changes for homeschooling families, and it's the moms who typically have to make the most adjustments to survive.  It's not just the temperature and humidity levels that are fluctuating -- schedules change, expectations change, work load changes.  School year to summertime can be a tricky transition to navigate, so don't feel like you're alone in your confusion about how to handle these next several weeks.

First and foremost, it's important to look back on the past year and take stock of all you've accomplished in your homeschool.  For the past nine months or so, your primary responsibilities have included lounging on the couch in your pajamas, checking Facebook, keeping your sleepy eyelids open just enough to determine if what's going on around you is Instagram-worthy, scanning Pinterest for recipes involving chocolate and peanut butter, perusing homeschool curriculum catalogs for all the latest get-smart-quick materials for next year, and texting your friends to set up homeschool mom get-togethers (for socialization's sake).  

And your children have been working hard too.   They've had a very busy year of unschooled interest-pursuing and free range adventuring.  

It's no wonder you feel like you're ready for a change come June!  Your reports to the school district are due soon and you're starting to piece together the picture that is the last year - you've hardly done anything at all!!  

So, come on!  Get out of those pajamas, get off that couch, and get your family ready for the best summer vacation yet!  

Here are some of the things I suggest focusing on to get you and the kids out of the old homeschooling rut:

ALARM CLOCKS make for Early Risers!  And I'm not talking about a gentle-approach alarm clock.  It's the summer; the sun doesn't waste any time rising in the summer, neither should your kids.  It's up an at 'em.  An alarm clock like this one should prove that point.  There's no lounging in bed when this baby is buzzing.  Not only will your sweet little ones be startled from their pillows, they'll also get in their first task of the day - precision hand-eye coordination practice.  

CHORE CHARTS for efficiency and self-discipline. Focus on products that emphasize responsibility, duty, and household contribution.  Don't waste your money on chore charts that offer the opportunity to earn credits, or promise rewards, or have visual incentives like silver star stickers, or offer suggestions of "praise words" for encouragement.  Chores are work.  Work done well is by its very nature its own reward.  If your children absolutely must have some sort of reward or incentive to complete their household work you can remind of the obvious: Dinner.  Dinner is the incentive to get your chores done.  

RIGOROUS PHYSICAL ACTIVITY:  You've spent a lot of the past year letting your kids be kids.  They've done plenty of sensory playing in the sandbox, inventing new and interesting hopscotch games, and wrestling in the basement without any clearly defined rules or boundaries.  It's time to reign in that child-like energy and enthusiasm and teach focus and technique.  Put away the pogo sticks, Sit n' Spins, and dodgeballs and consider real options like pull ups and squat thrusts, or perhaps weight lifting, or using something like these for a "sensational calorie-burning, coordination-building, leg-strengthening workout."

INTENSE ACADEMIC ACHIEVEMENT:  This is where you probably really have to ramp things up after the school year comes to and end.  The summer affords mothers and children copious amounts of free time to dedicate toward expanding educational horizons and delving into new topics hard core.  Leave behind your expectations of getting caught up in the math book, neatening up on handwriting, or regularly reviewing spelling words.  (That's what you were supposed to be doing during the actual school year, after all...)  My recommendation is to do your kids a favor and get them ahead.  Everyone knows that kids today need to know how to speak a foreign language, or three or four, to be successful in their future careers.  Check out the programs for really useful languages like Farsi, Mandarin Chinese, and Spanish.  OR, solidify your child's prestige and your family's future wealth by schooling your child in a nearly extinct language, like Mulluckmulluck or Ho-Chunk.  You truly can't go wrong with those options.  Summer is also the time to get your liberal arts kids STEM-ed.  Calculus for Kids, Pre-Med for Munchkins, and Quantum Physics for Your Cuties are some programs you might want to consider.  

LIMITED SCREEN TIME and EARLY BED TIME:  Following my guidelines for a successful summer break will leave your kids little time for TV, movies, and video games.  You will have given their brains and bodies such a healthy workout, they'll practically be begging you to go to bed early in the evenings.  It's not uncommon for kids on my summer system to flat-out refuse screen time even when it's offered to them from 8:00 - 8:07 on Tuesday evenings.  There's just so much positive learning, character development, and physical conditioning happening that most students come to appreciate the detrimental side effects of entertainment.  (Plus they're burned out from all the Liberty's Kids and Bill Nye they were force fed during the year...)  An  early bedtime will ensure that your kids are ready to be up and at 'em again the next morning and it affords Mom the two to three hours she needs to prep for the next day's lessons before she hits the hay herself.  

It's really quite simple.  You've been doing the "homeschool" thing for the past year and now it's time to do the "vacation" thing.  So, if you've started counting down the days till summer, be sure you start planning out the ways to make summer count ;)  

Happy June!  

It's the Club Pack Life for Me (Adventures in Grocery Shopping)

(in general, it makes me feel sick to my stomach to fill a post with mediocre 

pictures from my phone... but I'd look even MORE out of place and 

ridiculous with my  camera around my neck at the grocery store.  

Poor quality camera photos courtesy of my pride... and apologies in advance.)

*   *   *   *   *   *

~ It's the Club Pack Life for Me ~

(Adventures in Grocery Shopping)

I am a spectacle when I go grocery shopping.  A spectacle.  

And it's always something different.  Sometimes I have all the kids - some of them precariously perched in the cart, some of them dangling off the sides, some of them fondling the produce with fingers they just took out of their nose.  Last week I caught one of my children sinking her teeth into a package of pricey Gouda that, until a few days earlier, had been "aging" in an underground cheese cave for longer than the offending child had been alive.  

Sometimes I only have two children - one in the cart who is allowed an unlimited number of rice cakes in exchange for a pleasant disposition, and one strapped to my back.  The one on my back is systematically enlarging the bald spot under my ponytail one fistful of hair at a time.  With the baby-back-rider method of grocery shopping, it's safe to say that for every item I take out of the store, I leave a knotted wad of hair behind on the floor.  

Sometimes I just have one child and it's (verging on) delightful!   We go at 5:30 AM to avoid the crowds and to casually spy on investigate the morning floor-waxing crew.  I'm paranoid they'll be hunting me down: "Hey Mac!  It's malfunctioning again!  Too much mousy brown hair trapped in the mechanism..."   I mean, they could track me down.  There's DNA in hair, right?  And then there's my fingerprints all over the macadamia nuts    that I really wanted to buy but put back after remembering "the budget."  Evidence everywhere.

It's always something.  But the one thing that never changes is the volume.  So. many. groceries.  I get crazy bug-eyed jealous when I see young single professionals getting on the checkout line.  They push a mini cart up to the conveyor, neatly put 3 cups of yogurt, a 1/2 gallon of almond milk, a box of Wheat Thins, two bananas, and a six-pack of California rolls up there.  Food for a week.  It looks so neat, and manageable, and civilized.  I'm jealous not because I long for fewer mouths to feed, but because I long for a shopping trip that is a calm, wholesome exercise in selecting personal nourishment... not a three ring circus.  

When I shop for my family, the picture that the shopping cart paints is not one of civilization but of barbaric hordes with insatiable appetites... and toilet paper needs.  When I make it to the register I'm a sweaty mess.  The cart is completely and utterly overloaded.   Wide-eyed employees have approached me and asked with a mix of pity and incredulity, "do you think you need another cart??"  I can't imagine what they think the problem is - the glass jars of salsa and dill pickles teetering at the top of my grocery mountain aren't in any more danger of falling and shattering here in the store than they are in the hands of my children who will help put put them away at home.   So...???

There's no way around it.  People eat food.  Seven people live in my home.  Seven of them eat food.  And we don't homestead.  Or make our own re-usable toilet paper.  So when I go shopping, it's. a. haul.  

But our favorite grocery chain, Wegmans (the best grocery store in America, so says Consumer Reports), makes it easy on a mom like me.   Wegmans sells their already reasonably-priced store brand food and stuff in further-reduced price club packs.  Only, they must have recently sunk millions into a marketing study to determine that "Family Pack" was a more consumer-friendly term.   "Club Pack" was abandoned for "Family Pack", and believe me, this family is on board.   

Wegmans has more than quintupled (not actual data; just me eye-balling it) their Family Pack offerings in the past year and a half.  It used to be you could just buy paper products in bulk.  But now it's much more.  And I'm so grateful!  I leave there with Family Packs of fresh fruit, salad greens, red peppers, cucumbers, frozen fruit and vegetables, eggs, flour tortillas and tortilla chips, peanut butter, cheese, bread, cereal, salsa, pasta sauce, ground beef, chicken breasts, and more.  And you know we're going to eat it all. 

I love doing my big shopping super early in the morning - the store is nearly empty and I'm in a good frame of mind (I tend to buy less junk when I shop early.)  But in the early mornings they only have one cashier working to handle the normal 5:30 crowd - the two or three young, single professionals who already bought their yogurt and Wheat Thins earlier in the week and are now there only to buy an espresso and fresh, steaming croissant, not fourteen pounds of tissues.  One morning I could hear a collective groan from the customers around me as a started unloading my Family Packs of this and that onto the counter.  "What, is that like groceries for a month??" the man behind me asked.  (Honestly, it felt more like a commentary than a question.)   I laughed nervously.  "Hahaha.  This is for this week," I answered trying to look very busy lifting 16 lbs of apples and oranges out of my cart.  

My favorite story ever though, involved me with my normal load of Family Pack groceries and a far-from-normal instance of being "hit on."  (is that still what the kids are calling it these days??)  Maybe I forgot to wear my wedding ring that day, or maybe I had actually brushed my hair, or maybe I had gotten a few hours of uninterrupted sleep the night before and the ever-present dark circles under my eyes were looking light grayish instead of death-ish.  Who knows... but something overtook the cashier's powers of common sense, general awareness of his surroundings, and average abilities to assess the situation at hand.  He asked me if I was going to the big regional singles party that night.  I started sweating a little more than usual and looked at the groceries he was scanning so obliviously.  Does it look like I'm a single person?????????????   Would a single person be buying eleven canisters of oatmeal and seventeen tons of roasted unsalted almonds???????   Look at what is right in front of you ----- if I was single why in the name of all that is holy would I put myself through the agony and embarrassment of buying the Family Pack of 65 rolls of toilet paper??????????   Instead, I smiled and said, "No.  I'll be tucked in at home with my husband and four children."  (I had four children at the time, but I confess I briefly thought about falsifying the information about my offspring and telling him I had six or seven children just for shock value...)  

I know that one day I'll go to the grocery store and buy a mini-cart's worth of groceries - enough for Russ and I for a few days of simple eating.  One day, we'll be the empty nesters re-learning how to cook dinner for two.  But for now, feeding my family well is both a blessing and an ordeal.  Going grocery shopping feels like an Olympic event and looks like a carnival side show.  And for the next 15 years, at least, it's the club pack life for me :)

Grasping at Control by Organizing My Recipe Box

This day started well enough.  Around 11:30 I sent a text to a friend saying that even though we had started school lessons around 10:30 (usually a recipe for disaster) things were going surprisingly well.

Even still around 1:15 I sent a Facebook message to another friend that all was quiet in the house and I was eating a salad in peace.  

Soon after that fateful Facebook mistake, all insanity broke out around here in my mind.  I felt like my head was going to ex-plode from child-care/dinner-making/house-cleaning (my head, and my temper along with it.)

I thankfully held it together, but by the time Russ got home from work (I had already texted him begging him to take tomorrow off... so he already had some idea of how things were going here)  I was hanging by a nerve.  

The rest of the evening was still a struggle.  Right around the kids' bed time I got it into my head that I have to organize my recipe box right now.  I had already planned on doing this some time this week, but at one point this evening it was organize that box or check myself into a mental institute.  

Half way through getting my recipes cleaned up or cleared out, Russ came by with his brow raised quizzically.   

"I'M ORGANIZING MY RECIPE BOX BECAUSE IT'S THE ONLY THING I HAVE CONTROL OVER IN MY LIFE!!"

So there.

- before - 

ohh!  Christmas Snack Table menus from previous years stored right up front for reference
and inspiration.  (planning time is approaching, friends!)

I had two recipes for hot cross buns.  Do you know how many times I've made
hot cross buns???  ( zero.)

Besides recipes, loook what else I found in my recipe box - two  unused  pen needles, two used
lancets, and a bloody test strip.  (Aaron's Diabetes Command Center and my recipe box
share a corner kitchen counter space...)

look at all the recipes I got rid of!!  I only saved ones that I actually use.  If I found a
recipe for something that I've never made before but I might want to make it for a
future Easter brunch, I threw it out.  That's what Pinterest is for, people.

- after -
ahhhhh!!!!

I'm still feeling a little unstable but at least my project is done... and Russ got all the kids in bed!  Isn't he the best?!  

The New Latin for Weight Loss System!!

Please welcome the first and only sponsor of Ordinary Lovely, Latin for Weight Loss.  I have been considering using their system for my own personal weight loss goals for a while.  Now that they're officially on board at Ordinary Lovely, I'm definitely going to give it a whirl and will keep you updated on my progress.  I think you'll be quite impressed with their groundbreaking technique and encourage you to read on...

Here at Latin for Weight Loss, we believe that every man, woman, and child deserves a healthier lifestyle and the confidence that comes from having a little extra room in your toga.  Our groundbreaking system is guaranteed to help you eliminate eating, slim down, and regain the confidence that comes from denying yourself almost every single type of food.  

We are so certain that you'll eat less, lose weight, and love the program, that we are offering you a free trial through this blog affiliate.  To prove how serious we are about the quality of the Latin for Weight Loss System, we are sharing with this exclusive audience, the one and only tip you'll need for success:  Make all requests for food using the proper Latin vocabulary and grammar.

It's that simple.  Here's how it works.  When our bodies need nourishment, they send a hunger message to the brain.  The brain then converts that message into a request for food.  With the Latin for Weight Loss program, you will learn to deny your body the basics, like food and water, for rapid weight loss by re-programming your brain to only request food items using their appropriate Latin nomenclature and grammatically correct suffixes, of which there are nine hundred forty-seven thousand mind-boggling options.  

Let's take a look at the system in action...

Sallyentia* often gets hungry mid-afternoon.  In the past, she would have asked for a snack, would have received it, and would have eaten it, setting her back in her weight loss goals.  With our groundbreaking technique, Sallyentia's brain will struggle to convert the hunger message into a request for food because the Latin language is so bizarre and difficult to use, she will be conditioned to give up trying to ask for food and will be transformed into an individual who would rather go hungry than deal with the hassle of Latin. 

Here are some examples illustrating the genius behind the concept. You will see that by the time you are done mentally decoding the Latin words, the desire for food has past, or you have given in to frustration and have quit the pursuit all together.

"I would like a chocolatebitimusaerausiscum  baraeiaitimusasterulentus."

"May I please have a large bowl of iceariousorumbimustorius creamimimarumiaeumitius?"

"Where is the rest of the cookiearavisbimusaeitibunt doughabuntimusuntorum?"

"What does a girl have to do around here to get her hands on a bag of Doritosamascumaeitisbamusbantarius????????"

You can clearly see how the Latin for Weight Loss System is light years ahead of its competitors in setting clients up for weight loss success.   We are excited to send you our introductory DVD, Latin Grammar: Taking the Fun out of Falafels and Fondue and our bonus booklet of testimonials entitled How I Almost Learned Latin and Stopped Eating in Under a Week.

We are so confident that you will see immediate results with the program that we invite you to try this risk free offer for no cost using the code #sawitonafrustratedbyLatinmomblog#  Order within the next four hours, and we will also send you this plush robe.  It's the back-up plan to our groundbreaking weight loss system - the sleeves are sewn shut.  

If you are not completely satisfied with the Latin for Weight Loss DVD, return it to our distribution centers but keep the robe as our gift to you.  

We have maintained a long and meaningful relationship with many of our customers and look forward to the same with you once you try the Latin for Weight Loss System.  Just eat something before you call, because once you start attempting to request your meals in Latin, you will. never. eat. again.  And you will eventually tear your hair out in frustration and collapse on the floor because, after all, it's Latin.  Oh, and you're starving.

* Sallyentia is a fictional character from ancient Rome.  Her "supposed" weight loss and eventual demise are the typical results when using this program correctly.

Latin for Weight Loss is not a medically approved weight loss plan and is currently involved in several law suits in the third, fourth, fifth, eleventh, and eighty-eighth district courts to prove otherwise.  You should not begin a new dietary program without consulting your physician physician.  Togas can present a tripping hazard.  Side effects of the Latin for Weight Loss System of can include, but are not limited to, malnutrition, muscle weakness, loss of consciousness, and death.  Note: it has been concluded by some studies that food and water are usually essential to health, wellness, and life.  Clients who abandon the program often suffer from a binge-eating rebound period.  Always consider the risks and benefits before beginning a new wellness program.  Latin for Weight Loss is a limited liability company and is actually not responsible for anything that may happen to its clients while using the system, or afterward.  And there really is no DVD or robe, though it does look cozy, doesn't it??  

My Favorite Parenting Books (Books. Lists. Love.)

My Favorite Parenting Books  

(Books. Lists. Love.)

** A post script that I'm writing pre script:  The best way to learn how to be a better parent is just to do it day to day and occasionally ask yourself, your spouse, and a good friend, "what's going well and what could I do better?"  All the advice in parenting books can't replace real-life experience.  And when you do decide to turn to a book for a new perspective, you should always read it with a filter - it's called common sense.

*   *   *   *   *   *

When I was pregnant with our first child, I read What To Expect When You're Expecting.  Then our baby was born and started to grow and achieve normal-baby-not-a-genius-child milestones, and I made sure he was on track by reading What to Expect the First Year... the Toddler Years... etc... A few years ago I threw those books out. They weren't at all instrumental in helping me become a better parent, and in fact, I think I may have even made a few mistakes by believing everything in them and following some of the "programs" laid out in those books.  Anyway, I read them all once and I never read them again.  Any questions that I have now - such as "are these bumps a normal baby rash or is it a rare flesh-eating disease?"  or "is it a sign of a high I.Q. if my three month points to horse when I said the word cow?" - any questions like that the creep up, I ignore and continue cooking, cleaning, teaching, or looking for lost shoes and sippy-cup valves, etc... And if it's something I can't ignore, I Google it.  Problem solved and bookshelf space saved.  

But there are some parenting books that I have referred to over and over again.  They are books that I turn to for wisdom instead of information.  They are books that I don't mind taking up my bookshelf space.  They are books that don't tell me when  my baby will get a tooth (it'll come when it'll come...) but instead have real advice and encouragement about how to be a better parent, and more importantly, how to SURVIVE PARENTHOOD bless my children with my best efforts, experience, knowledge, and... um... what's that other thing??  Oh, right - love!

But... just to throw you off a little bit, my very first recommendation is akin to a handbook.  It's the ONE BABY BOOK I THINK EVERYONE SHOULD HAVE.  It's that awesome and so I start my list with my favorite "parenting book" of all time:

Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child, Marc Weissbluth 

This is the best book in the universe for convincing you that sleep is SO important for babies, and that all babies need "good" sleep.  NEVER think your baby is "not a napper." ALL babies (and toddlers, and kids!) need good, healthy sleep.  This book will tell you how to do it - using three different methods - YOU get to pick!! 1) Extinction 2) Minimal Crying 3) No Crying.  

Russ and I aren't the best parents on the planet, but we've always been very confident in, and happy with, the decisions we've made regarding our kids' sleep.  All because of this book.  Our three boys were taking regular naps and sleeping through the night around 5 months old, and our girls were sleeping through the night with regular naps around 3 1/2 months old.  And I know you're wondering if we let them "cry it out" - if there is interest expressed in specifics, I'll offer them some other time, but instead of writing it all out here, the basic gist of it is this: we used the "extinction method" which involves crying but is generally the quickest and most effective way to teach healthy sleep.  The amazing thing is, though, that since we were so tuned in to our babies' sleep needs early on, we never had to endure too much night crying (even though we were willing to.)  Between all of our five kids combined, we have had only about ten nights of intense middle-of-the-night crying.  None of them ever cried when we laid them down for a nap or in the evening because we had followed Dr. W's method of "catching" babies' sleep signals and putting them down at the optimal time before they were over tired and could not fall asleep on their own  So, they were all comfortable falling asleep on their own from a very early age and didn't suffer greatly having to cry for hours at a time, ever.  (Let me know if you need more deets.  I'm happy to share because I love talking about this stuff!)

Postpartum fatigue can be debilitating.  I know.  I can only handle that level of fatigue for a few months, so it's perfect that it's around 3 months that babies are ready to start organizing their sleep.  I NEVER would have known this, or known how to help my babies fall and stay asleep, if I hadn't read this book.  The book is not just about babies, but discusses healthy sleep strategies for children of every age.  If having a well-rested family is a priority for you, and you need some guidance in that regard, Dr. Weissbluth can help you achieve your goal :)  (That sounded like a scripted infomercial, but it's true!  I reeeeeeeeally recommend this book!)

The Temperament God Gave Your Kids, Art and Laraine Bennet

This book aids you in determining what type of temperament your children have and then helps you understand the ways to interact with, communicate with, influence, and love them, that will be the most effective.  

This book was instrumental is helping me appreciate strengths of my children in areas where I had previously imagined weaknesses or annoyances.  My temperament is so very different than my sons, and theirs is so very different from each other, there can be a lot of misunderstanding or unnecessary friction as a result. Knowing and understanding the differences in how we go about... well, everything, makes it less likely there will be disputes or frustrations.  I was so grateful to get a fresh perspective on our differences and have come to appreciate (if not totally understand) the quirky elements of their being that God gave them "on purpose"!  

Discipline that Last a Lifetime: the Best Gift You Can Give Your Kids, Dr. Ray Guarendi

Classic Dr. Ray.  Occasionally corny, often encouraging, always convicting.  Dr. Ray gives all kinds of great advice on how to effectively discipline children - he has 10, so he's got some experience :)  He really shines when he's giving parents tips on how to respond to kids' excuses and arguments  in the midst of disciplining.

Children: The Challenge : The Classic Work on Improving Parent-Child Relations--Intelligent, Humane & Eminently Practical, Rudolf Dreikurs and Viki Soltz

This book was laying around our house left over from my husband's days as a mental health counselor (often for children and families).  I picked it up during a particularly confusing time in our parenting journey and was glad I did.

I didn't agree with all of the methods/ideas in this book, but I appreciated enough of it to mention it here.  One of the best tips I took from it (and I should start doing this again!) is to avoid over-using "if you do this... then I will ...." statements with our children.  It's practically a challenge to a child to do the thing again.  It often ends badly.  For example:

At the dinner table, little Jimmy throws his food on the floor.  I say, "If you throw your food on the floor again, then you will leave the table."  Here's what can happen next:

a) Little Jimmy looks me in the face and throws more food on the floor.  I have to get up and take little Jimmy away from the table.  Little Jimmy learned that he can use his bad behavior to control my actions.  (this option isn't so bad because at least he suffered the consequence.)

or b) Some time goes by, little Jimmy throws his food on the floor again and I don't stick to my guns.  I may ignore it or warn him about the behavior again, saying something like, "Jimmy, what did I tell you about throwing food on the floor??" but do nothing.  I've lost.  I challenged him with an "if..then" statement and he came out the victor.  Little Jimmy learned I don't follow through and now knows that throwing food isn't really a punishable offense (and he probably thinks I'm a pushover...)

or c) (the most likely to happen in my experience...) Little Jimmy doesn't throw any more food on the floor, but a few minutes later starts blowing bubbles into his cup of water.  I haven't mentioned anything yet about the consequences for blowing bubbles, so I say, "If you blow bubbles in your water again, you will leave the table."  But little Jimmy doesn't blow bubbles again, instead he bangs his fork on his plate... and so on.  Using specific "If... then" statements never covers all the other possible questionable behaviors and consequences that might come up and forces the parent to address every. little. thing. that arises.  

The solution? Dreikurs' alternative to the "if...then" statement is to give consequences for behaviors when they happen, with more all-encompassing verbiage, not as a predetermined "threat."  So the dinner table situation would have played out like this:

Little Jimmy, who already well knows the rules of eating at the table, throws his food on the floor.  I say, "Throwing food is not table behavior, so you may not stay at the table.  In our family, you only stay at the table if you have the proper table behavior."  Jimmy is removed from the table, and is allowed to return to the table in a little while to try again with the understanding that he is only permitted to stay at the table if he has table behavior.  It's that simple.  It makes sense.  It covers all matter of poor behavior that Jimmy may choose to exhibit and makes clear what he needs to do to stay at the table.   It can be used for soooo many circumstances - I know from experience.  (I need to get back in the habit of this because it's worked very well for me in the past.)

Compass: a Handbook on Parent Leadership
Lifeline: the Religious Upbringing of Your Children
Anchor: God's Promise of Hope to Parents
by James Stenson

These books are wonderful resources for parents longing to instill lifelong virtues and  faith in their children.  Stenson's work is based on interviews that he conducted with parents who have raised children into adulthood and whose adult children are now living successful lives grounded in Christian teaching.  I really find these books very helpful, encouraging, and practical.  I should read them again :)  

And by way of a little lighter fare...

Babyhood
Familyhood
by, Paul Reiser

When you need a little bit of a break from taking it all too seriously, read these.  You will do the embarrassing laugh-out-loud-even-though-no-one-else-is-around thing.  Or you'll keep reading bits of it out loud to your spouse even though you can hardly breath for laughing so hard.  I was literally in tears a couple times reading Reiser's books. (Couplehood is good, too!)

And finally, Bringing Up Bebe: One American Mother Discovers the Wisdom of French Parenting, by Pamela Druckerman, was an entertaining and insightful read.  It was just plain fun to read of Druckerman's insecurities and uncertainties about her American-style parenting (hovering, frantic, and paranoid) amidst the calm, cool, and collected chic Parisian mothers among whom she lived.  I indentified partly with Druckerman and partly with the French-style of parenting, so it was enjoyable to get a bit of all it in one book!  

Now I'd love to hear from you!  What are some of the must-read parenting books on your list??

Thoughts on Baby Wearing from a Self-Proclaimed Non Baby-Wearer

I don't consider myself a baby wearer, and yet I've been wearing my babies more and more frequently with each successive child.  

Awkward mirror selfie.  I don't think I'll be doing any of those again...

I count myself as a non baby-wearer because I've never worn my babies because it was the "right" thing to do.  I'm not an enthusiast because of theories, or studies, or philosophies, though I certainly respect moms and dads who enthusiastically wear their babies for those reasons.  For those families, encouragement like this is lovely...

But this kind of stuff...

... I find ridiculous, bordering on offensive.  I mean, really??  I'll wear a baby or keep him in a car seat or stroller as the situation warrants, but does that mean you have to portray me and my kind as unhappy-in-our-marriages, indifferent-towards-our-children, and living life in a black-and-white depressed funk??  Oh brother.  I'm actually not super offended by it because I'm confident in the parenting decisions I've made in this regard, but I do think it's unfortunate that this kind of thing even came up when I Googled "baby wearing images" :(

My choices don't get me down.  I feel very comfortable letting my babies often be near me, but not on me.  I'm happy to let a sleeping baby nap on his back or his stomach and don't believe that sleeping on me is any more valuable.   I may start out on a walk wearing the baby but switch him to the stroller once the toddler hops out.  As far as I know, my mom never "wore" me and we've had a close, healthy, loving relationship my whole life.  (Right, Mom?)  And I've witnessed that my own kids feel close, secure, and loved by me despite having been taken for walks in strollers between the ages of just-born and 3.  

So, I guess I'm not a baby-wearer in theory.  I'm just a baby wearer in practice.  I don't do it because it's important, or right, or healthy.  I do it because it's convenient and it's sometimes the easiest way to manage four kids plus a newborn in the day to day.  

I just love love love that tiny piece of face peaking through!

My reasons to wear babies:

* to enjoy the use of two hands (examples of activities that require two hands: making lunch for other children, giving insulin injections after said lunch, getting children out of trees that they climbed up but could not climb down, changing a diaper, and other mom necessities like crocheting and opening a bag of emergency I-need-chips-now ;) )
* to avoid having strangers ask to touch and hold my baby in public (this has been an especially critical technique for the grocery store, where it seems like everyone you run into wants to stroke your baby and hold him for a little while.  "Oh no, I'm so sorry.  He's plastered to my sweaty body with fourteen yards of elaborately wound fabric.  You holding him is just not in the cards today."  Crisis averted.)  
* to calm fussiness when nothing else will 
* to prevent baby from being trampled when other kids are playing "Running of the Bulls"

You too, may be cut out for baby-wearing if:

* you don't mind still looking and feeling pregnant even after the baby is born
* you enjoy having spit-up down your shirt and in your bra
* you appreciate the feeling of a sweaty torso
* you're under the impression that a drool-soaked shirt is the height of fashion
* you feel like having your hair pulled by sticky hands is sort of like getting a head massage
* you use your baby accessories as an easy way to strike up conversations with other moms at the playground and can easily use fancy words like Mei Tai, ergonomic, and sciatica.
* you believe that it's not at all awkward to have a tiny person attached to you by various straps and buckles and knots

Even though I'm not a baby wearer, I have seven - seven! - different baby wearing "devices."  (What???)  

When we had our first child, Russ or I would carry Aaron around in a (hand-me-down) Baby Bjorn because that was the thing to do in the trendy neighborhood we lived in. The Bjorn hurt my back.  

Then when Dominic was born, an acquaintance assured me I could not manage a toddler and a newborn unless I had a ring sling, because unlike the Bjorn, the sling could hold a toddler on your hip or back.  So I went and got some material and metal rings and made a ring sling.  I used it occasionally, but never to wear the toddler on my hip or back, only the baby close to my chest.  The sling hurt my shoulder.  

Then when Ruth was about 1 1/5 we were planning a trip that would involve hiking in underground caves, so we bought a Kelty baby backpack.  Russ wore Ruth down into the caves, hundreds of feet deep in the earth's crust, and we almost had to leave the two of them down there for good because that dang backpack almost got stuck in some pretty tight crevasses.  I would occasionally wear Ruth when we'd do normal above-ground hiking, but it never lasted long because you know toddlers... they want to walk independently... and slowly.  When in use, the backpack is not at all painful, when not in use, it is a major pain to store. 

Russ with Clare - hike to the Eternal Flame, Chestnut Ridge State Park

Then when I was expecting Clare I started to panic at the thought of expecting a fourth child while simultaneously not expecting to grow another set of hands or receive the gift of bi-location.   So in a moment of sheer terror, and having the assurance from those who know about these things that a Moby Wrap was the most comfortable way to carry a newborn, I went out and bought material to make three Moby Wraps.  (I don't know why I did that.  One for at home, one for in the car, and one for in case the other two were torn off of me by the vicious wolves we might encounter in our local suburban nature preserve???) 

Well, anyway, I love the Moby.  It took me one Youtube video to figure out how to use it, and then I. used. it.  (not so much though, that it disintegrated into shreds and necessitated having three of them.)  The Moby is easy to use, so comfortable, has  no bizarre straps or clips to adjust.  As your baby gets bigger, you don't have to do anything to the carrier, it just always fits no matter what.  I mean, sure, you do look a little like Moses while you're putting it on, but a few minutes of looking like an Old Testament figure while in the parking lot is worth a 1/2 hour of blissfully sleeping Moby-wrapped baby in the store.   

I had Clare in the Moby a lot.  I liked the Moby a lot. 

Letchworth State Park. Clare in Moby ::

Nature walk.  Clare in Moby :)

But there was always something else out there.  Something was always tugging at me. That something was the elusive Ergo Baby carrier.  I had heard that it was the Cadillac of all baby wearing contraptions.  It was for infants and it was for toddlers.  It was for your front, your side, and your back.  And it was the most comfortable option out there.  But it was mucho dinero.  And what if we never had another baby?  Could I justify spending that much money on an Ergo that I might only use for one child???  I could not.  My husband definitely could not.  And everyone loves their Ergo so much they are very difficult to find second-hand.  I know because I looked for years.  

After James was born, he spent a lot of time in one of the three Moby Wraps - brown, purple, or red - whichever one suited my mood or had the least amount of sour breast milk on it.  

Did you know you could tuck your yarn in the Moby wrap and crochet as you go??

I resigned myself to the fact that the days of acquiring a new baby carrier for each new child that I had were at an end.  But... you know what my mom treated my sister and I to a few months ago????  Lovely, wonderful, versatile, comfortable, worthy-of-all-the-hype Ergo Baby carriers!  I can't say enough great things about the Ergo (and my mom!) It truly is the most comfortable baby carrier I've tried.  And the only negative thing I have to say regarding it is, Foolish, foolish me for not doing this sooner so we could have been enjoying it with all the previous babies!!!!  

James hidden by Ergo

Allow my ridiculously vast experience to be your guide if you are hoping to have a baby or two and think there's a reasonable chance that you'll want to wear your sweet little one: Moby for newborn.  Ergo for all the other years :)  Nothing else needed.

I'm not a "baby wearer" but... I guess I kind of am :)

And, oh yeah.  One of the other reasons I do it?  To shower that sweet-smelling, silky-soft head with kisses (without the added annoyance of bending over, of course!)