Chopping Onions for Moms Because Our Lady Did it for St. Elizabeth

Challenge to Blog Daily: Day 7

(See this post for the background info on this challenge and please forgive whatever you find "imperfect, incomplete, potentially uninteresting, and quite possibly incomprehensible.")

Woohoo!  I did it - my post-a-day blog challenge to pull me out of my comfort zone (not posting because it won't be perfect) and drag me through my discomfort zone (that of hitting "publish" even though it's not... quite... ready). 

For this final day here is a hastily written (though much pondered) reflection that deserves more attention but... that's the nature of the challenge for you...

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photo from thevegansage.blogspot.com

Well, that's not actually Scriptural.  It doesn't mention onions in the gospel of Luke but it does say that after hearing that her cousin Elizabeth was in her six month of pregnancy, Mary traveled to her and stayed with her for about three months.  She wasn't sitting around playing parcheesi and eating bonbons while she was there. After Elizabeth greeted her and John leaped in Elizabeth's womb and Our Lady declared the greatness of the Lord... Mary got to work.

Isn't that why she traveled there?  To celebrate with Elizabeth and then to help her? (And maybe chat a little about morning sickness and stretchmarks?!)  Luke didn't write it, but I bet she helped cook and clean and prepare and ease elderly Elizabeth's anxiety about having a newborn.  

A few years ago, I was asked if I'd like to make a meal for a mother who had just had a baby.  I, much to my shame, grudgingly agreed while ungracious thoughts invaded my brain...  I'm too busy for this, I have a newborn of my own, how do you expect me to get to the store?  This woman lives far away from me and you expect me to deliver this dinner??  What if I never get my tupperware back??  And on and on.

The evening after I had made the meal, but before I had delivered it, I was praying a Rosary and was providentially meditating on the Joyful Mysteries.  As I started to prayerfully consider the Visitation of Mary to Elizabeth, I had one of those, "I'm so spiritually immature, I just got it" moments (they hit me quite frequently.) That's why I made this meal.  That's why I will pack my children up into the van after nap time and drive 45 minutes away to deliver this dinner, and then come home for our own late and hurried dinner.  Because Mary "invented" Ministry to Moms.  Because she didn't whine or complain or hesitate.  She didn't use her own miraculous pregnancy as an excuse to take it easy and stay home.  She didn't visit Elizabeth to show off how fabulous and "together" she had it, and how it was no big deal to nurture her own growing family as well as another's.  She didn't go to receive accolades from her cousin.  She went because she was a new mother also.  She also was expecting a son that she never expected and she could fathom Elizabeth's unfathomable joy and could sympathize with her overwhelming situation.  Elizabeth wasn't needy.  Mary saw fit to honor her through a ministry of service and friendship.  

That is why moms are the best and most natural servants and ministers to other moms.  When we serve another mother through the gift of a meal (whether during the early months of pregnancy when she is sick, or after the birth of a baby, or during an illness or a family difficulty) we are honoring our shared womanhood as Our Lady honored Elizabeth.

I am not always able to make meals for moms who could use one.  But when I am able, I am so happy to do it.  It brings me back to the day my attitude toward this type of service was transformed by prayer.  Recalling the story of the Visitation helps me remember what is important - it's not that the meal be seven courses of the gourmet variety.  It's not that I look fabulous and put together when I deliver it.  It's not that I'm looking forward to thanks and praise.  It is about showing another mother that her vocation is valuable and honorable.  It is also about acknowledging that sometimes that vocation is challenging and difficult.  (Many a mother has felt stretched to the breaking point by the thought of getting dinner on the table!)  I will happily bring a mother a simple meal to ease that burden in a simple way, and to honor her in a simple way.  She absolutely deserves more.  A meal is simple, but not insignificant.  Only a mother can appreciate the depth of the value of a meal that comes from another mother. 

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A few obvious tips for sharing meals with a mom and her family:

*  Simple is ok.  I typically double whatever I am serving my own family and know that if it's a simple meal I'm feeding my own family, I'm comfortable sharing it with another.  Often it's no more than a soup and bread or a casserole.  It doesn't have to be a culinary masterpiece to make a big impact.

*  Check for dietary restrictions, requirements, and preferences first.

*  Include dessert if you can.  Have you ever encountered a woman who didn't love the occasional dessert delivered to her door?!? And you'll make her children happy too!

*  Don't forget to include reheating and serving instructions if there are any.

*  Try not to view this service as "paying back" a mom who has brought you a meal or offered you some other form of assistance. Make it a point to minister to a mom from whom you've received nothing, and then think no more of it!

*  Leave all of your culinary insecurities and competitiveness and judgmentalism at home, or better yet, on another planet.  Leave all of your parenthood insecurities and competitiveness and judgmentalism in the same place.  There is no room for these distractions and distortions in true ministry.  (I'm speaking from experience - they really sour your attempt at service.)  

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So what's with the onions, anyway??  I decided to write this post a few weeks ago when I had spent the better part of a Sunday preparing meals for three families other than my own.  I was knee-deep in onions and was bawling like a baby and about to lose my mind knowing that it would be less painful if I could just take my eyes out of my head rather than endure this onion-induced torture.  Russ was passing by at a particularly painful moment and heard me mutter something under my breath as I dramatically flung my head back from the cutting board.  "What??  Have you ever said, holy sh*t before?" he asked, aghast.  "Have you ever chopped four onions before?"  was my unapologetic reply.  

I can assure you that when Mary was chopping those onions at Elizabeth's house, she probably wasn't using the kind of language that onions elicit from me :)  

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post script - I have often been on the receiving end of this generous act of sacrifice and service.  Thank you, kind women, who have shown such goodness and grace-filled-ness to me!

Summer Flashbacks, A Few Favorite Things, "Africa," and Soup Chat... It must be 7 Quick Takes!

Challenge to Blog Daily: Day 6

(See this post for the background info on this challenge and please forgive whatever you find "imperfect, incomplete, potentially uninteresting, and quite possibly incomprehensible.")

Thank goodness this personal challenge is almost over :)

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(1)

We "harvested" our carrots last week!  Our gardens are small, and we didn't have tons of carrots to harvest, but we were all ecstatic.  We did much better on carrots this year than last year.  We've snacked on some but we all decided it would be fun to use them for a carrot cake.  That's my plan for this afternoon.  (update - the cake didn't happen.)

(2)

This happened over the summer but didn't really require a separate post...

I read the kids an abridged version of Moby Dick over the summer, as well as the graphic novel version.  We had been inspired to read it because we all loved our Cozy Classics version so much!  Here are some pictures of when the boys built their own Pequod and staged portions of the story in the baby pool.  (No sperm whales here, only a humpback understudy)

a row boat leaves the Pequod

Aaron wielding a harpoon

the inevitable destruction

(3)

Speaking of pictures from summer, here's one of my favorites...

(4)

Puzzle Pods.  Have you heard of these?  Get them.  They will change your life (well, at least that small corner of your shelf where you store kiddie puzzles and the surrounding floor space where random puzzle pieces wait to attack unsuspecting bare feet.)

"Puzzle Pods stick to the back of a board puzzle and hold all the pieces that used to fall out and get lost," says the mom who wishes she invented this genius idea for making millions!

(5)

This game.  Animal Upon Animal from Haba.  It's been a real crowd pleaser lately - and it's really something when you can find a game that appeals to Mom, and a seven-year old, and a three year old.  ("Actually, I'm three and half plus a little more," she'll tell you.)

(6)

"Africa" performed by Slovenian group Perpetuum Jazzile.

The kids and I could watch this over and over.  Oh wait... we have.  Enjoy!

(7)

And finally, can we talk soup please?  It's the best thing to eat all Fall and Winter long, right?  I'm getting ready to go into my frenzied soup-making mode and I'm looking for some new recipes for soups that will freeze well.  Hope to hear (lots of!) your suggestions!  And I'll keep you posted on the planning and prep for the Fall Soup Party (it's next Thursday!)

Thanks, Jen, for hosting another Seven Quick Takes!

My Day (more info than you ever wanted) and Theme Thursday (Orange)

Challenge to Blog Daily: Day 5

(See this post for the background info on this challenge and please forgive whatever you find "imperfect, incomplete, potentially uninteresting, and quite possibly incomprehensible.")

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I really enjoyed Jen's (at Conversion Diary) post yesterday and the quote "The days are long but the years are short."  It flowed so well with a concept I've been mulling over recently - the seasons of life and how quickly they pass, except when you're in the midst of them.  Some "seasons" seem like they'll never end.  But life ebbs and flows with busy days and quiet days, my chaotic mental state and my calm and ordered mental state, spiritual plenty and spiritual dryness, bounty and need, the list goes on and on.  

Since I'm committed to posting every day for a week, and since I haven't prepared anything ahead of time for today, I've chosen to record my day. It may not interest ANY readers whatsoever, but it will serve as a future reminder to me how blessed and treasured these ordinary days are - these days that are seemingly unimpressive and even tiresome, but are the anchor of this season of our family life.  Fun family outings, exciting field trips, and out of the ordinary events may be easier to recall when we all remember "the past," but they will feel hollow and contrived without the foundation and structure that ordinary, structured (ha!), stable, safe home life provides.  

(for Theme Thursday: Orange, just skip all this to the marigolds in the middle!)

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I got out of bed at 6:10, wishing I had gotten up earlier.

Russ made waffles, though I helped because he'd never made them from scratch before, and then I hopped in the shower.  Tried to save time by skipping shampoo and just using conditioner - this is supposed to be a salon tip for great hair.  My hair does not look salon-fabulous today.

Coffee.

Breakfast was delightful.  We chatted about a property out in the "country" we had looked a few days ago and all tried to weigh the pros and cons of rural living - things like the beauty of deer in your yard vs. attack of the killer mosquitoes.

Forgot to check Aaron's blood before breakfast.  Ugh.

Russ got a call from work and had to leave early.  Knowing that this is a trigger for me going Scary Monster Mom, I light my Yankee Candles so that even if everything else crumbles to pieces this morning, at least the house would smell good.  

I made an agreement with the kids.  They work on being obedient immediately and without questions or complaining.  I will work on not yelling.  We decide to hold each other accountable. 

Chores.  They got done.

I love having magnet chore boards so that the three big kids know what they have to do without me saying it over and over!  To keep track of when a task is done they get to move the magnet to the right.

Aaron asks if he can start Math, but I'm unprepared, so he rearranges his flashcards in the dining room and practices the -7 facts.

The kids start playing house.  I interrupt because I forgot to give Aaron insulin after breakfast.  They start cooperating to clean up the basement (in the hopes of an indoor football game when Dad gets home from work) so I postpone starting lessons until 8:45.

I quickly get the lessons boards together.

8:45 - We gather on the couch, sing our morning prayer.

Catechism lesson.

Singing - we all practice Holy God, We Praise Thy Name and Hail Holy Queen

For the first time ever, we have quiet personal prayer time.  I tell the kids to choose a prayer book or picture Bible and find a secret spot to pray.  When I ring the "bell" (a wooden spoon banging on the lid of a kitchen pot, reminiscent of my childhood...) they come back to the couch.  They love it!  And so do I!  (Clare stays with me in the living room while the kids are praying in secret.  She alternately looks at the Stations of the Cross book and at the squirrels in our front yard.  I practice the Sign of the Cross with her.)

Bible reading.  Narrations.

Poetry memorization practice.

9:30 - We move to the dining room table.  The girls color at our little table in the living room.  

Both the boys do Math. 

Dominic does Handwriting.

Aaron takes a Spelling test.

Clare begins her requisite morning mess-making.  I've come to terms with it.

10:15 - Break time.  Snack of dried fruit and peanuts.  Insulin for Aaron. 

10:30 - It's garbage day in our neighborhood and here come the trucks.  We all go outside to watch the action on our street.  This is a weekly activity, the garbage crew know us and give the kids lots of attention.  

usually a boy's job... I don't know what came over her  (yep - they're both still in pajamas...)

"see ya next week, guys!"

well, this makes me see how badly the front of the house needs to be painted...

I see how colorful our garden still is and decide to cut marigolds to bring in to the house.

My spur of the moment submission to Theme Thursday... sorry it's buried amid the drivel of my day...

10:41 - we sit back down to more lessons when the leaf patrol trucks (front loader and two dump trucks) come through the neighborhood.  More distraction.  We don't easily recover from this one.

10:52 - We sit back down.  Clare needs a diaper change.

Dominic does Spelling - it takes him 17 minutes to write five words.

Aaron does Handwriting - he writes a letter to his pen pal!

Clare pushes the doll stroller around the circle of our house for the 47th time.

11:20 - Break.  Everyone goes outside!!!!!

I have no idea what they're doing or why their pants are like that.  I just take the pictures and don't ask questions...

I make lunch, which is peanut butter and banana sandwiches because I forgot to get jam out of the freezer.

Someone intentionally urinates outside and comes in for clean non-pajamas and a timeout in her bed.

12:15 - I sit the girls down for lunch and run to the basement to do laundry.  I usually wouldn't do this, but since I was keeping track of my activity today, I figure I'd better do something to sound a little more productive than usual!  I also get jam out of the freezer while I'm down there.  I do a quick clean-up of the school area.

The boys come in, change because they're muddy, wash up, Aaron checks his blood.  They sit down to do Latin.

12:30 - The boys eat lunch.  While they eat, we discuss what they're reading in Literature at tutoring.  Mr. Dave, the mailman arrives with catalogs and a long-awaited package - long sleeve undershirts for Dominic who WILL. NOT. wear the button-down pajama tops that go with his pajamas. 

During lunch, in an attempt to squeeze a "music" lesson into the day, I try to play a CD about the life of Beethoven.  No one's really listening though, and even I know when it's time to quit.

Someone puts baby carrots in his nose and looses the privilege of finishing lunch.

12:45 - I change Clare's diaper and figure it's a good time to get her out of pajamas.  I put her down for a nap.

I put Ruth down for a nap.  She whines about that a little bit.  The boys do Grammar and they each do a short Reading lesson.  They go to the basement for quiet time - today they play Legos and listen to Robin Hood on Audible.

1:45 - I do more laundry and get a batch of oatmeal bread into the bread machine for dinner.  Then I eat lunch - a cup of yogurt, an apple, and potato chips :)  I write some of this post and page through the catalogs the mailman brought.  I LOVE afternoon quiet time!

3:15 - the timer goes off and the boys are back up.  We do a History read aloud.  

3:30 - Ruth's awake.  We all do a short drawing lesson.  And they all go back outside with a box of chalk I got on end-of-summer special.  I keep working on writing this since I made soup the other night and don't have much get ready for dinner this evening.

This was a crazy productive lessons day!  Look at all they did!!  Same method as the chore boards - lessons on the left are not done, lessons on the right are done.  Tomorrow is Friday, so we'll probably do about three or four and call it a day.  Whew!

4:30 - Clare is up.  She and I join the other kids outside - we walk to the corner and fool around with chalk.

Mom in Action, by Dominic

And... it starts to rain.

5:15 - we all come back inside.  I get dinner ready, kids do chores.  Aaron checks his blood.

5:30 - Russ comes home.  We have delicious Winter Veggie Bisque and bread for dinner.  Aaron eats it because his "taste buds are developing."  He gets insulin.

6:30 - the boys bounce around their room like the walls are made of rubber instead of just quietly getting pajamas on.  Ruth looks at a book in the living room, Clare raids the food left on the dining room table.

Dominic dashes down the stairs shouting, "the Allied forces are coming!"

The boys go down to the basement to play some football.  Dominic dashes up the stairs shouting, "The Allied forces win the peewee championship."

Russ takes a couple shots of Clare and I hamming it up in the kitchen...

6:50 - We sit down to have leftover apple pie for dessert. 

7:15 - I'm exhausted and wonder how quickly we can get everyone in bed.  Russ puts Clare in bed and cleans up from dinner because he's amazing.  I supervise night-time insulin and "teeth and toilet" routines, convince Ruth that her owl pajamas are not uncomfortable, and tuck her in next to her meerkat, Mumford.  Ruth and I sing Amazing Grace and Sing a Song of Sixpence.  Lights out!

7:30 - I pray with the boys and we read from Rare Catholic Stories.  We chat about the day tomorrow and they ask if we can go to Mass!  Wow!

Lights out!

It's 8:08.  I intend to spend a quiet evening chatting with Russ about the day and starting to make plans for next week's Fall Soup Party - menu, shopping list, and cooking schedule.

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Day is done, gone the sun,

From the lake, from the hill, from the sky.

All is well, safely rest,

God is nigh.

Thanks and praise, for our days,

'Neath the sun, 'neath the stars, 'neath the sky.

As we go, this we know,

God is nigh.

* * * * * *

Thankfully, only two more days left of this challenge.  This was pretty painful :) and I'm so embarrassed that I'm even posting it but I've got nothing else.  Goodnight.

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For more "Orange" photos and less rambling about the boring goings on of an ordinary homemaker, visit Cari's latest installment of Theme Thursday!

Crib Quilts Show and Tell

Challenge to Blog Daily: Day 4

(See this post for the background info on this challenge and please forgive whatever you find "imperfect, incomplete, potentially uninteresting, and quite possibly incomprehensible.")

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Last Spring I made a throw-size quilt for Ruth and ended up having enough batting left over for a crib-size quilt.  And it just so happens I have a baby in this home who sleeps in a crib!

So I bring you a long overdue show and tell of two baby quilts. I had initially hoped that this would be a tutorial, but thanks to the wisdom of a friend who, in addition to being a crafter extraordinaire also happens to be a retired editor, I realized I am not quite ready for the world of big-league quilting tutorials.  The main reason for this being... I hardly know what I'm doing myself and a tutorial would only serve to spread that incompetence to the masses!

The quilt that was my "inspiration" was this one I had first run across on Pinterest.  I took a little different approach with the quilts I made, but I really think this one is lovely...

 http://badskirt.blogspot.com/2009/09/pram-quilt-for-d.html

Crib Quilt No. 1 - Clare's Cheery Baby Blue

I love how this quilt turned out and I also love that it was made entirely with fabric I had on hand.  I wanted it to be girly and floral, but not baby-themed or cutesy.  I think I succeeded. 

It's a little rough around the edges, and the backing (I used a super soft quilter's flannel) got a little bunched in the middle during the quilting, but I still love it and apparently, so does Clare!  

Now that each of the girls has her own quilt, I've got Dominic checking with me periodically on when his will go into production :)

Crib Quilt No. 2 - Mod Dots for my New Nephew

After learning quite a bit from making Clare's, I decide to give this pattern another go.  I made this crib quilt to bring to a baby shower given for my sister.  She and her husband are expecting their first (a boy) in just a few short weeks!  It will be my own children's first stateside cousin!!  (The others are in far off Australia.  Hi guys!)

I won't get to meet my new nephew until Christmastime, but he'll get to snuggle up in this handmade-with-Aunt-Theresa's-love quilt in the meantime!  (If you have a spare prayer, would you offer one for this little breech baby that he flips in time for delivery?  Thank you!)

This quilt is much more neatly done than the first one, especially the binding and backing.  I did a fine job, if I do say so myself!  

Even though this is a "crib" size quilt, I wanted to go with a motif that an older child wouldn't mind keeping in his room - so I obviously wasn't looking for baby prints featuring teddy bears and duckies.  Everything for this quilt I bought new, except for the batting and solid white, which again, I had on hand. As soon as I found the orange and light blue dots in the fabric store, I had an easy time pulling the rest of it together.  (I must be drawn to the orange/blue combo, because there's even a little of that in Clare's.) I love it!  I have some of each fabric leftover and am hoping to throw together a doll quilt or something - I like the color combo too much not to use it again!  

Whatever I sew up next, you can bet I'll probably blab about it here!  Until then...

Thank you, Sandra, for providing some guidance on getting this post done and off of the back burner!  I'm much happier having done it this way!  

(Check out Sandra's blog to follow her adventures in crafting and sewing at Making It With Help !)   

Siblings: My Gift to Myself, My Gift to Them

Challenge to Blog Daily: Day 3 

(See this post for the background info on this challenge and please forgive whatever you find "imperfect, incomplete, potentially uninteresting, and quite possibly incomprehensible.")

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I have four children and am expecting my fifth.  I find that these "stats" simultaneously put me into two completely opposite categories: Category 1: "Big Family" and Category 2 : "Smallish Family."  The first usually applies when I'm out and about - like at the grocery store or at the playground.  The second applies when I'm at Catholic homeschooling events where the average family size rivals that of Johann Sebastian Bach (who had 20 children.)  

It's not really my intention to write about the size of my family and where it ranks among average American family size, but I have been thinking a lot lately about the blessing of siblings and how grateful I am that my children have a couple of them.  Whether your children have one to two siblings or live with the numerical equivalent an an NBA team, I think it's worth pondering the blessing of siblings and ways to foster better sibling relationships. 

In many ways I feel like bringing siblings into the world for my children has been a gift to myself, or probably  more accurately, God's gift to me.  People often ask (the grocery store and playground crowds) "How do you manage with so many?"  And often, my first thought is, "How would I manage with just one?"  I think back to when I had Aaron and was alone with him most days.  I think back to the difficulties and loneliness of having one baby and no one else in the house to interact with.  And I try to imagine having only Aaron in the house now, though I admit I really have no idea what it would be like. What on earth would I do all day if I just had one child???  I think about how helpful it is to me now, both practically and emotionally, to have children that play together, entertain one another, help each other, etc... while I make dinner, or work on laundry, or lay on the couch and do nothing ;) And I'm so grateful for this interesting dynamic - while many children do keep me busy, there are numerous times when many children keep each other busy and I am left alone :) 

Even more than this - the fact that they have each other and I don't have to get down on the floor to play Legos or tea party too often! - the greatest gift that this quartet of siblings has given me is joy.  I can't think of anything that gives me more or purer joy than seeing them hug each other, help each other, offer compliments to one another, volunteer to do a chore for another, play a game together, blow kisses to each other at bedtime, plan a surprise for their dad together, empathize with each other, and just be content being together.  It is such a delight to see them love and appreciate each other as friends.  It truly lifts up my soul.  So often the sibling relationships portrayed in movies, tv shows, or popular kids books are snarky, disrespectful, or competitive.  I'm hopeful that this will elude my kids and that they'll never come to the conclusion that "sibling" and "friend" are mutually exclusive, or buy into the idea that younger siblings are inherently "pesky," or that older siblings are naturally obnoxious know-it-alls.  

While I truly love this joy that their sibling-ness brings me, I am also immensely grateful that God has given them to each other for their own growth and benefit and delight. And I'm not just talking about the benefits of lifelong friendships and the life skills that kids with siblings learn. (Though, I am appreciative for those things too - like learning how to share a room, and being ok with hand-me-down clothes and bikes, and knowing that the icing flower on the cake will have to be divided into fourths and you will probably never. ever. get to eat the whole thing yourself.)  Rather, I am speaking of a phenomenon that I have witnessed in this family which I can only describe like this -seeing my children with their siblings has allowed me to see goodness in them that I may have otherwise missed.  

I offer this as one example of what I'm talking about... While our oldest, Aaron, has many admirable qualities and is improving in many virtues as he gets older, we'd probably hesitate to describe him as "compassionate" or "thoughtful" or "considerate."  These things don't come naturally to him.  He doesn't typically exhibit these qualities with Dominic or Ruth, but... he has an incredible soft spot for Clare. When those two are together, Aaron is gentle, compassionate, selfless, and downright sweet.  His relationship and interactions with her have truly surprised us, allowing us to see a side of his personality that was barely recognizable until Clare came along.  Russ and I are often so very thankful that Aaron has baby sister Clare to allow for less dominant aspects of his personality to shine through.  What if we didn't have Clare?  It's sort of weird and pointless to imagine what it would be like if that were the case, but it is very gratifying to know that she holds an important position among these siblings.  She's helped Aaron become a better Aaron, and given us the privilege of seeing it happen.

Don't forget that I'm not a child psychologist or a sibling specialist.  I'm just a mom whose been noticing and pondering what's been going on in my home.  I've been trying to encourage and reward positive sibling interactions.  And many times I've been able to watch their sweet interactions from a distance and smile and thank God a million times over.  But I'm not a perfect mom and my children are not angels (they take after me...) and we certainly find ourselves navigating our fair share of shouting, hitting, arguing, tattling, blaming, name-calling, and myriad other misbehaviors (like maliciously hiding a sibling's prized toothbrush or throwing a sibling's pajamas onto the ceiling fan so he cannot obediently get dressed for bed).  

With all that in mind, for what it's worth, here are some of the ways we do try to encourage the sibling love.  Sometimes "encourage" isn't the word.  I often "require" various interactions and behaviors since, like with any behavior that a child needs to improve upon, practice and perseverance are key. Soon, right habits are formed and good habits become the foundation of an enjoyable and well-ordered life.  And in very well-formed individuals, habits become the basis of virtue.  I hope that's where we're headed, both my children and me.  

- I *try* to avoid books, cd's, movies, etc...  that are full of sibling strife.  Russ and I recently threw out a cd we had that had a song about a kid's "rotten little brother" and a story about a big sister who was so "too cool" to hang out with the family.  Really, we'll encounter enough of that in real life, I'm pretty confident I don't need to introduce it via "entertainment."  On the flip side, stories and movies about close-knit families and delightful siblings are welcome in our home!

- When we notice a downturn in loving sibling behavior, we toss some charts up on the wall and start recording instances of "caught you being nice to your sibling!"  Sometimes it will be to keep track of something very specific, like offering compliments or helpfulness without being asked.

- I encourage the kids to be responsible for, and to look out for one another (check on each other if someone gets hurt during playtime.)  This is a tough one though, since I myself don't come running when I hear someone cry or whine.  I don't set the best example in this area!

- We encourage (or require!) them to teach each other.  I'm regularly on the lookout for these opportunities, and not just in matters of school.  For example, Ruth knew how to play a board game that Dominic didn't.  I asked her to teach him so that they could play together.  They got constructive one on one time, and Ruth had a rare opportunity of instructing an older sibling!

- Sometimes I DO use siblings to help manage the chaos of school lessons.  Aaron can concentrate on his Math DVD fairly well, so I'll ask him to hold Clare on his lap to watch with him.  He's practicing a little babysitting and I get a few minutes to work with Dominic. Or, I may want Dominic to re-read a reading lesson that I've already heard, so I'll ask him to read it to Ruth while I'm nearby.  Or, the boys will often "quiz" each other on poems they are memorizing.  It's my hope that if we continue to do things like this, helping each other with lessons will become more natural as the girls start "school" in a couple years. 

- I encourage (or require!) them to help one another.  Again, I regularly rely on the kids to help each other, even if I'm completely available to do a certain task myself.  A simple example of this is that I often ask the boys to help with the girls at meal times, pushing in their chairs, fetching water or serving them seconds.  It fosters helpfulness and gratitude between them, gives the older kids grown-up responsibilities to be proud of, and sets an example for the younger ones on what it means to take care of each other.

- I'll put an older one "in charge" of Clare when we go out somewhere and when we come home from an outing.  Coming home, they help her get in the door and take off her shoes and coat and put them away.  

- I try to leave them ALONE when they're playing well together, even to the point of (occasionally) putting off chores or lessons.  

- I orchestrate play time for odd siblings pairs when I can.  Like any mom, I've figured out who naturally gravitates to who.  When I see a chance for two to play together (two that don't normally hang out) I try to help it along.  

- I'll offer suggestions on things they can do to surprise each other - secretly make someone's bed or leave a drawing on someone's pillow.

- Praising them when they are exceptional and thanking them when they do something that they didn't realize I'd seen.  I try to make a point of acknowledging their positive behavior toward one another, sometimes it's privately and sometimes I'll mention it in front of everyone.  But I want to make sure they know their kindness is noticed and very much appreciated!  

- What are YOUR great ideas for fostering uplifting, long-lasting, grace-filled sibling relationships??  I'd love to hear your comments!

  

Two are better than one,
    because they have a good return for their labor:
 If either of them falls down, 

one can help the other up.

Ecclesiastes 4:9-10