So, You're Having a C-Section (Tips, Tricks, and "Expert Advice")

 Despite the title of my previous c-section post, in the case of major surgeries practice does not actually make perfect.  You may know when your c-section will happen, but you certainly can not plan for every eventuality.   I'm may not be an expert but I have had five rather un-eventful c-sections.  Well, wait a minute.  They were monumentally eventful because they were the births of my children!!!  But you know what I mean.  They were routine.  There were no hiccups, no surprises, and my recoveries were a cake walk (as compared to many difficult c-section stories I've heard about...) 

While a c-section is not usually what any expectant mother is hoping for, it may be a reality for you or someone you know.  I've done it enough times to have a few tips for you :)  My list is not exhaustive, but these are things that stand out to me:

Before You Go to the Hospital

Here's a whole post I wrote on the things I like to do before going off to have a baby.  The one I wanted to mention again here is stock up on stuff.  Stock up on all your regular household items (shampoo, toothpaste, laundry detergent, etc...) because the fewer trips you have to make to the store in the next two months, the better.  One of the all-time dumbest things I ever did was drive by myself to Target the day after I got home with Dominic.  I still beat my up over how idiotic and potentially dangerous this was.  Please don't ever make this terrible, horrible, no good, very bad mistake.  Stay home.  And send your husband.  Or a saint bernard.  

What to Bring to the Hospital

You may think that you can pack your hospital bags like everyone else when you're headed in for a c-section.  Not so.  Your hospital stay will be much longer and very different from other mothers, and you should plan accordingly.  You'll need to pack all the stuff on all the "normal" lists for your hospital bag (phone, camera, sanitary products, baby's first outfit, etc...)  and you should also plan on...

• Light reading material.  You may think it's the perfect time to delve into that long philosophy book you've been waiting to read (what with all the quiet time you'll have), but the meds you'll be on won't allow for deep thoughts.  Bring a beach-read novel.  My personal recommendations are the Jane Austen mystery novels by Stephanie Baron  (Oh my gosh, they're so fun!  Read them.)

• An iPad or other tablet or "smart" device.  In my experience, hospital TV and radio are so, so, so bad.  My last hospital stay was like a dream because I had my beloved Pandora stations and Netflix at my fingertips.  Sometimes you just can't read and you want to watch a show or two.  Or three or four ;)   (When I was in the hospital with newborn Ruth I watched 57 episodes of Cash Cab with my neck strained to see the TV strapped to the ceiling...Just bring your iPad, ok?!)  

• Prayer Intentions.  You might think you've avoided the pains of child birth by delivering via c-section, but believe me, your body will have gone through the wringer.  You'll have pains and unpleasantness aplenty.  And you'll certainly feel some of those child birth-like uterine contractions when you start nursing that little one (actually, postpartum nursing my fourth and fifth babies was the most painful thing I've ever done.  Certainly the closest to natural child-birth I'll ever get....)  Anyway, my point is, have some special prayer intentions in mind so that you can offer up the pain and discomfort you'll experience when your anesthetic starts to wear off.  

• Something to do.  My last two hospital stays were marked with copious amounts of crocheting.  In fact, when James was born, a visiting friend remarked that my room looked more like a yarn shop than a hospital room.  I have the dearest memories of crocheting peacefully with my sweet, new James in bed with me.  I managed to make him a handful of custom-fit hats since he was right there (!) and worked on my first crochet blanket during our hospital stay.  Having something to do is a must for me!  It will make your time in the hospital feel more like a cozy getaway instead of a week of confinement. 

• Nursing tanks and cardigan sweaters.  You really are going to be spending much of the first two days in bed.  The nurses will be doing a lot to tend to your lower half, but that doesn't mean you have to wear a hospital gown the whole time :(  If you've got a nursing tank and a cardigan, you'll be warm on top, and ready to easily feed your baby (if you're nursing).  

• Loose fitting pants.  Really loose fitting pants.  And loose underwear.  You may be one of those women who can mysteriously fit into pre-pregnancy pants on her way home from the hospital, but after a c-section, even if you can fit in 'em, you shouldn't wear 'em.  You'll appreciate having something very loose and stretchy to fit over your incision site.  Tight underwear is the worst.  Plan to wear loose underwear and stretchy pants in the hospital and on your way home.  Take care of that incision site, mama!

• A soft cloth diaper.  Or something comparable.  I really want to protect my incision site for the first week or so after surgery, so I tuck a soft cloth baby diaper in the front of pants in between my skin and underwear.  This gives me a barrier between the incision and whatever elastic I may be wearing.  I know this sounds like ridiculous TMI, but it really makes all the difference in preventing your incision from being irritated.  And I'm just looking out for my fellow section moms ;)

• THIS NECK PILLOW.  You're going to be on your back for the majority of two days, and then for a lot of time all the other days during your hospital stay.  I seriously can't tell you how wonderful this pillow was for me.  A memory foam neck pillow allows you to rest your head to the side (with enough support that you don't get a terrible crick) even when you're not able (or it's too uncomfortable) to shift your whole body to one side.  I honestly don't think people without major abdominal surgery will get why this is so important, but let me assure you it is.  I can only say over and over again, this pillow was probably the BEST "extra" thing I've ever brought to the hospital.  

What to Ask for at the Hospital

• You can ask to hold your baby immediately after it's born.  I have never done this, but have heard that my doctor and hospital are becoming more amenable to it, so if I'm ever on the table and under the knife again (hehe), I will request this.  At the very least, you can ask to see your baby right after it's delivered.   (James, my most recent baby, was my baby that I got to see the quickest.  Maybe Clare too...)

• Speak up for yourself.  Ask for more warm blankets if you need them (oh! I love thos hospital blankets!), ask for help moving, ask the doctors to tell you when they see your baby and how they're removing the baby, tell them you'd like your husband to cut the umbilical cord if he wants to, tell them if you want nurse your baby in the recovery room, ask to replace IV pain meds with oral ones after you're in your room (IV meds, while more convenient, tend to make your drowsier.)  In short, be your own advocate.  It is after all, still the birth of your baby that's happening.

• Ask for anesthetics that are non-drowsy.  I have always been very alert and aware during my c-sections, but I have heard that that's not the case for everyone.  I wasn't loopy or trippy during my deliveries.  I was just pain free and present in the moment, and I'm so, so very grateful for that.  

• Ask for more pillows.  Even though I always have my aforementioned neck pillow at my head, I always ask for additional pillows to prop behind my back and under my stomach for the times when I do start to shift and want to rest more on one side of my body than just on my back.  You can also use pillows for the first few days of nursing to protect your incision and to "boost" the baby up without straining your lower abdominal muscles.  

• Before you are discharged, ask if they have an elastic abdominal binder to give you.  They better!  Binding your abdomen will serve two purposes - it will protect your incision site from daily activity (like toddlers crashing into you and the baby resting on you while nursing) and it will help support and hold your muscles in for quicker repair and and healing.  Also - sorry I have to mention this - ask for a stool softener prescription to go.  (You'll probably already be taking one during your stay)  After your section, you have nothing in the world left to be embarrassed about, so don't be shy about asking for this :)  Even though they won't let you leave without making sure your system is moving again, it's better to have some gentle help in this area for the first few days back at home.  Trust. me.   

A few final things...

• Let the nurses change your baby's diaper.  You do all the cuddling and holding and singing and stroking, but leave the changing to the nursery staff (except maybe till your fourth day or so)  It's a strain on your abdomen and incision that you don't need until you get home.  Don't feel guilty about it.  And don't feel guilty about asking the nursery to bring your baby to you any time you want.  And don't feel guilty about asking them to take your baby back to the nursery when you need to sleep.  You are recovering from major surgery and should not wear yourself out before you even get home.  

• Take your pain medication when you get home.  They won't give you anything that's harmful while nursing, so feel confident that taking your pain meds will help you take better care of your newborn and other family members.  That doesn't mean you can overextend yourself just cause you're feelin' no pain, but it does mean that you'll be able to heal more quickly and love on your newborn more because you won't be suffering unnecessarily.  

So, I've been around the c-section block a few times.  Let me know if you have any questions or if there's anything else I can share that would be helpful.  And if you've a multiple c-section mom (and I know there are a lot of your fabulous gals out there from the comments on my last post!),  please share your wisdom with us too in the comments!   I know there must be some other tips, tricks, and suggestions out there!!

Disclaimer: I've had my five surgeries, cared for sick kiddos, bandaged my share of cuts and scrapes, etc.... but I'm not a doctor.  Shocker, right?  I think there might be a responsible bloggers rule that says I have to tell you my suggestions are not medical advice and you should consult an actual physician to get actual medical information.  I just offer casual conversation mom-to-mom advice, so take or leave it ;)  

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Bonus Material :)

I love my pictures of when I spent hours and hours crocheting and cuddling with Sweet Baby James, so you get to see them <3

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Creative and Contented :: Large Families Living in Small Homes

If Practice Makes Perfect, I Might be a C-Section Expert

So, you probably know I've got five kids, right? 

Did you know I've had five c-sections??  

Maybe you didn't.  It's not in my blog bio, I've never written a "birth story," and I don't have a big ol' "I Survived Three + C-Sections" bumper sticker on the mini van.  I've dialogued with myself quite a bit as to why I haven't written about it much and I'm pretty sure the answer is that I'm afraid of being criticized and plugged into a statistic.  Even though I have made my peace with my c-sections, I still feel vulnerable when they're out in the open for conversation, or debate, or criticism...  

"Women's bodies are designed to give birth, not be cut open."  "Have you heard that most c-sections are unnecessary?"  "Most c-sections are selfish on the part of the mother."  "Did you know that moms and babies are __% more likely to experience complications or death with each successive c-section?"  

Yep, I have heard all of these.  But most of them not until after having my third child (and third c-section) and most of the decisions I made before that were in ignorance.  Maybe that's what's hard to admit and what I don't want to write about...    

Anyway, the fact is that I have had five c-sections and it is what it is.  It does no good for me to regret, and wonder, and what if, and woulda, coulda, shoulda, because my bed has been made (and it's a five-day-stay hospital bed, hehe...)  I have had five utterly un-complicated pregnancies.  I have five gorgeous children; and what gifts they are! They are no less precious to me, or to God, or to anyone for that matter, because they entered the world in a sterile, well-lit surgery, as opposed to any of a dozen other scenarios.  I'm grateful for the surgeries that gave them to me.  

(Aaron, 2006)

My first c-section was not scheduled, but was the only option presented to me after many, many hours of useless labor due to a failed induction.  My other four c-sections were elective and scheduled because I was told by my first doctor that I'd not likely be able to have a natural delivery for one reason or another.  I didn't look into it too closely, and by the time I realized that my first doctor might not have been entirely honest with me, it was too late.  

(Dominic, 2007)

So I probably made some decisions without doing my homework, and I'd certainly never want any other woman to do this same, but I'm not in a position to regret what I've done.  They're in the past and cannot be changed.  And I can say with my hand over the Bible all legal-style, that I have never chosen a c-section out of selfish motivation (like getting too big, or getting too "loose," or getting too tired to being pregnant.)  I've never chosen a c-section because it was the "easy way out;" whichever way you give birth your body is going to feel like you were hit by a bus and tossed hundred yards.  No birth is easy.

(Ruth, 2010)

But I sure am grateful for modern medicine and for my Catholic, pro-life doctor that evaluates women's bodies individually and doesn't automatically say three sections is the limit like most doctors nation-wide.  

And I'm grateful for this body that God has given me - because, if I do say so myself, this body rocks at c-sections :)  

I've joked with friends before that if c-sections needed a poster child, it would be me.   I mean, I have had a lot of practice, and I *might* go so far as to say, I'm good at it.  Or at least my body is.  My sections have always gone smoothly.  I've been totally awake, alert, and participatory.  My babies have been healthy.  Nursing has always gone well.  And my recovery. is. awesome.  

(Clare, 2012)

Never in a million years do I want you to think that I am recommending cesarean births over vaginal deliveries.  I am not.  But I can certainly speak honestly about my own experience with c-section deliveries, which I am grateful to say have been nothing less than amazing.  

Cesarean births are obviously not without their trials, though.  And they're certainly not all physical.  It's a monumental act of surrender to to be essentially not in control of what's happening to you.  During each surgery I've had the choice to bemoan my circumstances or to prayerfully transform them into an exercise in virtue.  I've often prayed during my c-sections reflecting on the fiat of Mary for strength.  I've said "yes" to bringing a new life into the world, and then must surrender myself and my baby entirely into the care of another.  I give myself entirely over to the medical professionals around me and trust that they have my well being at heart.  Total trust.  Total surrender.  Totally offering myself and my little one up to the care of another.  Sort of sounds like how I'm supposed to be with God every day, huh?  I surrender myself entirely - hand my very life over in complete faith - and though I've been poked, and prodded, wounded, and humbled, the result is overwhelming - a result maybe even greater than I could have accomplished on my own - the result of surrender and trust is new life.  

One of the biggest sacrifices a c-section mom may have to make is not holding her baby immediately after birth (though now it's becoming more common!  Yay!)  It's heart wrenching to hear your baby cry but not have held her yet.   It's so bittersweet to have your baby brought over to caress your cheek on the surgery table, but you're not able to reach out and draw him near.  I could waste my energies and emotions on how it's not fair and how much it hurts, or I can choose to embrace it as another of the sacrifices I offer in my circumstances.  I offer it up in union with all that Mary suffered when she could not hold her Son when she must have so desperately wanted.  And I offer it up for the little one I'm waiting to cuddle - her health, her sanctity, her everything.

(James, 2014)

I've experienced it all - the anticipation, worry, surrender, trust, intentional paralysis of the majority of my body with potentially life-altering consequences, not the least of which is -- I get a baby at the end of it!  I've done it five times, but I joke about being an expert, of course.  We're never experts when it comes to life and love!  Neither usually go as planned, do they?  Plus, it's a little prideful and quite frankly, ridiculous, to boast about being an expert at something that happens when you're 75 percent numb and immobile ;)  

I may not have achieved Expert Status yet, but I did want to write something that would encourage and maybe even help other c-section moms.  You've got this, mama!  You may be sacrificing your body for your baby in a way that's different from other birthing moms, but in one that's no less efficacious or rewarding <3