Thursday, June 5, 2014

An Illustrated Story of Life, Love, and my Long Lost Caffeine


I am a long-time coffee lover.  I love coffee.  I need coffee.  Real, full-of-caffeine coffee.  Right when I get out of bed.  That (plus a shower) is the difference between me being mistaken for a zombie and me being able to start the day like a normal human being (well,  normal may be presuming a little much...)  


This is me:



This is my coffee philosophy:




Through a gory twist of fate (rivaled only in Hitchcock horror tales), I gave up regular coffee and it's been ten days now since I quit the caffeine cold turkey.  I know, I know, it's wretched, and I will accept all your sympathy with much self-pity and dramatic flair.  Why did I do so heinous a thing in the first place, you ask?  I did it to see if it would help even out Sweet Baby James' wonky sleep issues, and it seems to have worked.  That was actually the worse case scenario, right?  That actually makes this no-caffeine thing something to be contended with for the um, I don't know... next several months.  (A little part of me just died when I had to write that.)  

So, while the morning beverage routine of my past was best categorized by things like this...


and this... 


and this...


 and this...

now, I'm actually drinking..............decaf..................  (I can hardly utter the word.)  But there you have it.  It is what it is and moms have made much greater sacrifices for their babies, so I should stop complaining.  

Even though I was always under the impression that decaf was vile, I have been consuming it for ten days. I'm drinking decaf because even though I've pretty much gotten over the caffeine addiction, I cannot yet leave behind the habit...

ahh...
And now that I've been drinking decaf for over a week, I have firsthand experience of the mysterious subtleties of decaffeinated coffee...



So, basically all of my preconceived notions have been confirmed.  

James is sleeping better.  And I've discovered the trick to getting a cup of decaf down without spitting it out in disgust is to make it really, really hot.  That way, the first sip will burn your tongue, and your taste buds won't even notice the continuous assault that is  the second, third, and fourth cups.

Now in the mornings I still have a mug in hand, but I'm verging on zombie... all. day. long. These are confusing times.  

"I drank the decaf and I actually think I'm in
worse shape than I was before the decaf..."

25 comments:

  1. Oh my... This was so funny. And I don't even like coffee. Sadly, it's genetic. My dad wouldn't touch coffee until this past year. He is 63. So maybe I'm saved from nursing baby sleep issues but I feel like I should figure out how to like it someday. Maybe when I'm 63. In the meantime, I won't laugh with all of you struggling coffee addicts... I'll just laugh at you. :;) glad to hear you found out how to deal with the sleep troubles. You are a good mama!

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    1. I'm impressed that anyone could hold out that long :) (please feel free to laugh all you want. I'm used to it!)

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  2. My condolences. If it helps and won't get me hit, have you tried the "better" decafs that use a water process to decaffeinate rather than the cheaper brands? I don't see as much of a difference but I still do a half/half blend or I would be shaking and crazy-eyed all day :)

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    1. My Dad has also mentioned this water-processed decaf. I'll have to look into it. (and PS - there's nothing wrong with shaky and crazy-eyed. It's worked for me for 10+ years ;) )

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  3. So sorry! I am a coffee lover too, but I have to admit . . . I drink mostly . . . . {decaf} . .!!! I agree with Mary, get a good, quality decaf. It makes a huge difference.

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  4. Bless you -- I am the same. But. Now I'm Seventy. SEVENTY. That means I can drink coffee! All day!! (I don't, but I CAN.) Should the Lord will, you'll be here some day. It's wonderful.

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  5. PS. From Julie. I am Granny to two homeschooling families. Total of nine, soon to be ten grandchildren. One of them sent a blog to the others of us, and your blog was on that blog. Love the Internet.

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    1. Thanks for much for stopping by and commenting, Julie!

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  6. Oh man Theresa! How are you doing it? I only need 1 cup but I NEED THAT CUP! Funniest one was..."there is a time and a place for decaf coffee and that is never and in the trash." Oh man, that is good :) I also like how decaf is made from dirt ;) How much better is he sleeping and what was he sleeping before? How much coffee were you drinking on a daily basis?

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    1. Hm, I was drinking a lot. Maybe 4 cups a day. It never seemed to bother my other kids, but James seems to be extra sensitive to it. He's sleeping better over night (only waking once) but we still don't quite have the daytime nap schedule I'd like. At least we've made some progress!

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  7. What a great post! As a fellow coffee-a-holic, homeschooling, bloggin' mom, I applaud your bravery and empathize in your misery and think I may have discovered a new blog that I must now follow ;)

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    1. Thanks, Tammy! I'm glad you stopped by and introduced yourself!

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  8. I am also a coffee addict, but uh, I'm addicted to ah, decaf. I spent nearly five whole years either pregnant or breastfeeding and drank decaf during those times so I guess I've just gotten used to it (there's hope!!). Oddly, I can't really even tell the difference when I do drink regular coffee, so I often just stick with the decaf. Hopefully you can find a decaf version that you love!

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    1. It sure is amazing how pregnancy and nursing can turn our habits right around! Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Amy!

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  9. Have you tried Teacinno? It's naturally caffeine-free herbal tea that tastes very close to coffee, but without the nasty decaf-process and the acidity.

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    1. Haven't heard of it! Thanks for the tip, I'll definitely check it out!

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  10. Oh, this is so funny! My sympathies! We're a coffee family too (my husband even roasts his own) and I know it's just a matter of time before I get a baby who resents that.

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    1. ooh!! I'd like to hear a little more about in-home roasting! Sounds like it would taste (and smell!) delicious!

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  11. heh. I do love coffee, and drink a good bit of it, but I could *probably* give it up if I had to. Not that I am going to try!

    These fun images reminded me of a few things. I have a little decorative plate I used to have hanging on the wall behind my coffee maker that says "Coffee maketh bright the spirit". So true. And my husband insists with complete sincerity that "coffee makes [him] a better husband and father." :-)

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    1. Coffee definitely makes me a more agreeable person - in the mornings, especially!

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  12. I gave up caffeine for a month or two for one of my babes, too ... so, so glad that time is over!

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  13. I laughed out loud all the way through this post. "Never, and in the trash." HILARIOUS, Theresa.

    I had to give up coffee for awhile when Zeke was a baby because he was having similar issues. And another time for dietary stuff. It was fun exactly never. But the weirdest thing was during my first trimester of this pregnancy, I was so so so tired all the time, but the nausea made coffee sound disgusting. I guess you could call it the worst of both worlds.

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    1. I've had similar experiences during some of my first trimesters also and have switched to black tea for a couple of months. What we'll do for our babies!! Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Micaela!

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