Blog? What Blog? (7 Quick Takes)

You practically forgot about me didn't you?!?  I admit, it's been a while since I've been here.  If have no good excuses either -- I just didn't feel like blogging.   But I missed the friendships and conversation here and kept thinking about things that maybe one day I'd write about. 

I'm not sure that I'll be cranking out all kinds of new posts now that I've dipped my toes back into the waters, we shall see...  

For now, my fingers could use a little exercise at the keyboard and I thought I'd hit you with a few quick takes on what I've been up to...

(1)

Not blogging.

(2)

Revamping our homeschool schedule and introducing some new materials.

This has been a really great change for us these past five or six weeks.

Last year James was still a morning napper and we were able to get our work done during his morning nap and then finish up the odds and ends during his afternoon nap.  

This year, no morning napper + only one independent reader = near total implosion of the homeschool.

I got sick of complaining to Russ that everyone needed more individual attention from me in the mornings when all our brains are fresh fresh fresh.  

Apparently Russ got sick of hearing me complain about it too ;)

He offered to keep the three younger kids out of the dining room from 7 - 8am three mornings a week so that I could get in a whole hour's worth of lessons with the boys before he even left for work in the morning!!!

Isn't he the best?!?

Our new routine is: Mondays and Wednesdays, we're up at 6 and Russ and I alternate going to 7am Mass (usually with one or two kids) while the other gets things ready for the big kids to leave the house for tutoring at 8.

Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Fridays, we're up at 6, I have a cup of coffee, take a shower, and do lessons with the boys from 7 to 8 while I have a second cup of coffee.  (They alternate working with me and independently)  Then after Russ leaves for work at 8, I have another cup of coffee (surprise, surprise) and eat my breakfast while I do lessons with Ruth (and James is *hopefully* being supervised by the big boys since they get a break then.)

Here's what it looks like from where I sit and do my thang...

boys have already had breakfast and done morning chores, so after they're done here, they get a break for about 1 or 2 hours!

usually I finish all of Ruth's work with her in the morning (math, reading, and handwriting, as
well as the homework she has for the Study Center)

This new schedule is - to say the least - AWESOME!!  We get so much work done!  And my children get the one on one time they need with me.  It is truly amazing how much work you can do when you're not chasing a two year old around and up and down and over and out and behind and oops!  It's been three hours and we've still only done one math equation........

Now three days a week are crazy productive, important things like reading and spelling are not falling through the cracks like they had been,  and we all still get free time later in the day.  Win - Win - Win.

We've also started using some new books and program after a mid-year review of sorts.  The state of the homeschool was, um, shall we say, lacking.  So it was with much excitement and gusto that I started Aaron on not one, but TWO new grammar books, as well as Wordly Wise for vocabulary.  And Dominic is starting All About Reading this upcoming Monday as our final "push" to get him reading.

So, that wasn't really a quick take, but I really wanted to tell you about it because I think these changes have literally saved us from self destruction :)

(3)

This photo is a hint at what I've *really* been up to during my free time.
And it is the sweetest evidence of a "100 Easy Lessons" child in the home <3 <3 

And I've still be crocheting.  Obvi.  That's probably the main reason I don't blog much anymore.  If I could dictate blog posts into some sort of dictaphone-to-blog program while I crocheted, then maybe I could keep the cobwebs from collecting here.  But as it is, I've been busy working on some projects for (maybe) reopening my Etsy shop as well as pieces of Ruth's blanket...

I've got about 30 of these made... 12 left to go.

AND I'VE BEEN MAKING POMPOMS!!!!

Life is decidedly better now that I have a pompom maker and can just put perfectly puffy balls of yarn on anything I want.

hats for three sweet new little baby girls :)

And speaking of yarn...

Here was a cute little ornament I made for my sister (and fellow crochet lover) for Christmas :)  I just love it!

(4)

James turned 2 last month!  I could just go on and on about how much I love that kid (his singing!!  ohh!!! <3 <3 <3) and about how much of a handful he is (his modern art with diaper cream and baby powder)... but quick takes, I know.  

James thoroughly enjoyed his cake with sprinkles!   And he even got some new toy cars that I "wrapped" by taking them out of their packaging and then putting them back into the brown Amazon box in which they arrived.  It was very... celebratory.  In a kind of distracted mom urban industrial sort of way.

He's still not a talker, by any means, but more and more we know what he's saying, even if everyone else thinks he just said asldkfasldhfjopinrckjsdnfdsfsmcuh.

Man, I love that kid!

This was the first time that we've had a two year old and didn't also have a newborn or a newborn-coming-soon.   It feels... different.  Like maybe he was the last newborn and maybe there won't be any more two year old birthday parties here.  Obviously I don't know for sure.  Some days I'm sad about the prospect of no more babies to come.  And some days I'm loving that prospect.   But mostly James keeps me running so that there's little time for melancholic introspection on any subject, and of course we're open to life and we're planning to keep on loving the family we've got, so it's all good.  (That's the best way to wrap up a topic when there's plenty more to say about it but this is not the time and you just need to shut it down.  It's all good.)

(5)

Dominic made his First Holy Communion and started altar serving!!!

The story starts back in early December when we had our pastor and parish seminarian over for dinner.  During the course of the dinner, Father invited Dominic to start altar serving even though he hadn't received his First Communion yet.  So the the Sunday before Christmas, Dominic went to speak to Father after Mass.  Both the priest and I thought he was going to ask about when he could start serving, and instead he said, "Excuse me.  When can I make my First Communion?"  Our pastor said, "How about next week?"  And so he did!  

It truly was blessed circumstances!

(You can read about why I've been so happy that my children have (thus far) received their First Holy Communion at the regular Sunday morning Mass we attend here)

And he's since been altar serving <3

(6)

I said that the school changes were the biggest changes around here lately.  Not so, actually.  Russ started a new job the Monday after Christmas.  It's been a huge change.  We had been praying about a change for him for well over two years, and when this new opportunity worked out (when many others hadn't) we thought it was the right move.  It's been a rocky transition, and while we feel certain that we didn't make any changes lightly, it's hard to see that this was the right one while we're trying to navigate what it means for our family.  There really have been so many changes, and most of them don't feel like good changes or "worth it" changes as this point.  If you have a spare prayer to offer for Russ' peace in his new position, I'd truly appreciate it.  I know he would too.  I think the fact that we, along with many other friends and family members, have been praying for this situation for so long, keeps us believing that we made the right decision and now we just have to have faith (and patience!) that it will improve.

I sure do love and appreciate this guy :)
(so do the kids <3)

(7)

And finally, a few words about Lent.  Here is my motto for the year:

Who needs a hair shirt when you can wear jeans? (Lent 2016)

One of my Lenten penances this year is to wear jeans at least once a week.*  

 Sheer torture.  

If you know me in real life, and have seen me recently and I was wearing jeans, believe me, I was in appropriate Lenten agony.  I just hid it.  Because I didn't want to be like one of the pharisees and their phylacteries.  Or the fasting hypocrites and their disfigured faces.  Or whatever.  You know.

On Ash Wednesday the reading was "Rend your hearts, not your garments."  Basically, God was talking to me, because if there's anything I want to do to a pair of jeans, it's rend them.

*I'm doing some other things like, prayer, fasting, and almsgiving.  So, don't worry ;)

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Friends, I've missed you!  I hope you had a wonderful and fun-filled January.  
And I pray your have a blessed and transformative Lent.
Hopefully, I'll be back here again soon.  But if you're on Instagram, that might be the best place to stay in touch with me.  Quick and easy Instagram really lends itself to my busy life these days -- and I'm grateful to have that outlet to continue sharing little bits of this blessed and lovely life <3  

Check out what other Quick Takers are chatting about this week over at This Ain't the Lyceum.

Oh, yeah!  And I got to participate in a spiritual reading recommendations post that Kelly shared!  Check that out too!

Not Believing in Santa is Not Ruining Christmas for my Kids

At the risk of labeling myself a big fat Scrooge, I've got another post on why we don't maneuver Santa Claus into our family holiday traditions.  Humbug.    

But not so humbug, because I actually love Christmas, and gifts, and our family traditions.  And my kids really think Christmas is awesome.  What they may not possess in terms of holiday "magic," they make up for in joy, generosity, and excitement (food and presents can do that to a kid...)  

When Russ and I were engaged and spending long hours discussing "important" issues for our future family (ha, it's funny to look back on what we thought about having kids before we had kids...), the question of Santa came up.  Santa was never a part of my Christmas celebration growing up and I knew that he wouldn't be a factor in my own children's Christmas experience.  Russ had never heard tell of such a thing, but he heard me out.  In the end, he agreed with me.  I think no one was more surprised than he :)    

Here's what it boiled down to then and now.  

* Christmas is about Jesus.  Period.  And the gifts we get and the gifts we give are an extension of the gift of God made man - Jesus as a newborn baby 2000+ years ago and Jesus triumphant return at the end of time to close the deal (so to speak...)

* Spinning an elaborate tale about who Santa is and how he does what he's supposed to do is lying and manipulation I've never wanted to get into.   I can say with confidence that, in general, we refrain from telling intentional, sustained lies to our children.  It feels wrong to lead them down an untruthful path during their formative years, while there is so much real Truth that we're trying to instill at the same time.  The task of Catechises is already so monumental, I prefer to improve my chances at imparting the truths of the Faith by not confusing things like the birth of the savior with other non truths of the Faith.  (So, I'm really just trying to increase my success at parenting ;) )   I'm not comfortable with lying about something "big" and then shattering it as my kids get closer to their "difficult," "independent thinker" years, but at that same time asking them to deepen their beliefs in the other "big" - Christ, the Church, evil, salvation, etc...  I want my kids to trust me in the big things, and trust that the "big things" we've introduced to them are all real and unfading.    

* In addition to feeling wrong, lying can be exhausting!  I've seen friends burn out in the face of their kids' questions.  It's actually too much work (emotional, mental, and logistical!) for something that really has nothing to do with Christmas in the first place.  

* Santa Claus is St. Nicholas, you say?  Not really.  I addressed that here.  And even if he were, Christmas is not about St. Nicholas, so there'd be no need to be all "Santa is St. Nicholas is Santa" on Christmas Eve or Christmas day.  You could do that whole thing on December 6th if you wanted, but we don't.   

* The idea that Santa's watching and will only bring gifts to good children is often used as a behavioral management strategy by confused or lazy parents.  Please note: Not all parents that include Santa in their holiday traditions are confused and lazy!  I know children who believe in Santa and their parents don't use Santa Claus as a behavior management tool or idle threat.  However, Russ was in family mental health counseling for years and did see enough of this to know that there was something a little twisted in moms and dads dealing with rowdy or foolish kids by threatening that Santa wouldn't come on Christmas Eve if they didn't change their childish ways.   This is really hard for me to see, in the grocery store, parking lots, malls... kids being manipulated and threatened by the goings on of a fictional character.  

* I never want my children to think that gifts magically appear.  They don't.  We rarely deserve the gifts we're given, but they always come from someone who loves us enough to give them to us anyway (that's why Christmas is about Christ after all!)  Someone is behind every gift.  Someone made my children's happiness enough of a priority to choose something special, spend money on it, wrap it up, and deliver it.  That real life person deserves to be recognized and thanked.  Real people give gifts and my children will thank them personally and in writing for every gift they receive (though sometimes it may take us a couple weeks to get the thank you notes out...  ahem.) 

* Kids love presents.  (Um... so do I, actually...)  I spent our first few Christmases trying to downplay getting gifts with my kids, but that's a fool's errand, right?  As I mentioned before, the giving and receiving of gifts is one of the tangible, "incarnational" ways of spreading and sharing the true meaning of Christmas.  I try to let my kids enjoy the delight of receiving gifts, and hope that experiencing how good it feels will help motivate them to do the same for others.  God gives freely to us.  We should do the same to others.  And we can be comfortable in receiving joyfully and freely from those around us too!  

* Finally, even though we give and receive gifts as a celebration of, and witness to, the gift God gave us in his son, Christmas isn't just about the baby.  Christmas is also about the promise of his return!    And somehow, I don't think anyone ever looked at this....

.... and felt his heart swell with the true message of the season -- Unto us a child is born!! and Christ will come again!!  Or maybe they did.  I can't really judge what happens in the hearts of others.  What I do is keep the season in my preferred way -- the way that I think will best convey the message of the Messiah's birth and second coming in my home and with my family.  And believe me, my family and I wish you a very blessed Advent and Christmas season, regardless of how you keep the feast in your home and with your family!  

“God is here. This truth should fill our lives, and every Christmas should be for us a new and special meeting with God, when we allow his light and grace to enter deep into our soul.”

St. Josemaria Escriva, Christ is Passing By

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An Advent and Christmas Resource Round-Up

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Why We Don't Tell our Kids That St. Nicholas is Santa Claus (or vice versa)

A few weeks before Christmas last year I started writing your run-of-the-mill "Why We Don't "Do" Santa" post.  I never finished it.  I kept poking at it and changing it and rewriting it.  Finally it got to the point where I had to stop because I was burning through the precious time I had left to crochet hats and pot holders and slippers for Christmas gifts.  (I mean, it just wouldn't be Christmas without a garish array of mediocre yarn creations by Theresa, would it??)

I started playing around with that post again this year, but even as I was writing and rewriting it, something new occurred to me. Not only do we not "celebrate" Santa, we don't even equate him with St. Nicholas.  

Plenty of people argue that Santa Claus is a harmless modernization of St. Nicholas.  And I've heard the people who preach that we need to redeem the modern-day, commercialized Santa Claus and return him to his Christian roots in Nicholas. But in my home and for my family, I don't want St. Nicholas to be Santa Claus. For secular me, Santa is a waste of energy and misdirected holiday enthusiasm. For Catholic me, I'm pretty into St. Nicholas, and I'm uncomfortable distorting Nicholas so that he can be Santa Claus.  

I don't buy it when people say I can "believe in" Santa Claus because he's really Saint Nicholas.  (I think this is a superb post on it, even though I happen to disagree :) ) I understand that's where the tradition first began, but that's not what Santa Claus is now.   And we live now. 

When the kindly folk in the grocery store ask my children in a sticky sweet voice, "Is Santa coming to your house this year?" they mean this...

They don't mean, "Are you going to honor the fourth century Greek bishop, patron of children and sailors, by hanging your stocking 19 days after his feast day in the hopes over discovering a gift there in the morning?"  

To the grocery store inquiries, I usually offer my own sticky sweet smile (it's really just bits of candy cane stuck in my teeth) and reply, "We celebrated St. Nicholas’ Day earlier this month (the kids leave out their shoes and know that mom and dad leave treats and gifts there in honor of St. Nicholas)  and now we're busy preparing the gifts we'll give to others on Christmas."  And then hopefully my kids launch into a litany of the projects they're working on and the topic of conversation has been totally turned, because most strangers can't wrap their heads around the way we keep Christmas.

My kids don't "believe in" Santa Claus.  Santa Claus plays no role in our Christmas (except in making an appearance in the tune "I Saw Mommy Kissing Santa Claus," which I love.)  Santa does not come to our house.  Santa does not leave gifts.  Santa is not happily married in the North Pole, nor does he have a workshop there.  We tell our children that Santa Claus does not exist.  (It's ok if you think I'm ruining my kids.  I don't.)   

And Santa is not St. Nicholas.

I believe the person of St. Nicholas would be lost if my husband and I embellished the traditions and legends surrounding that saint into lies we'd tell our children about Santa Claus.  This is not how we honor saints.  It is inconsistent with all the things we ("we" means "husband and I" :) ) teach our children about venerating and honoring the Saints.  Catholics are not required to hold any particular devotion to the Saints, but if we choose to, we meditate on their lives of Faith, strive to imitate their holy example,  and appreciate the goodness and glory of God in His work through them.  We teach our children about the virtuous lives of the Saints, the miracles attributed to them, and the power of their intercession for particular needs.  Many saints, especially those from the early Church, are surrounded by a cloud of legends.  We happily teach our children about these legends, how they may have developed, why they are significant, and how such stories can still bring glory to God even though the truth of the matter is not always clearly defined.  But we don't invent miracles or attribute magical happenings to saints and claim that they are still taking place to this day outside of the approval of the Church.   That is a mis-representation of the Faith and of the honored position of Saints in the Church, and is an affront to the traditions of the Catholicism.

I actually think that it would be better to believe in Santa Claus as a secular bringer of gifts, completely detached from the name, concept, and reality of St. Nicholas, than to tell our children in all sincerity that the 4th century bishop is also a present-day toy maker plying his trade in the frigid north.

It misrepresents the real Nicholas.  The little that is known of him is rich and uplifting.  He deserves, as all Saints, to be honored for who he was - not for what I pretend, or speculate, him to be.   

To attribute gifts and magic to a beloved saint (and to encourage my kids to believe it) would probably also not be a great witness to our non-Catholic friends who may already be scrutinizing our often misunderstood veneration of the saints and our appreciation of our Faith traditions and legends.  And, in my opinion, it just does not give glory to God or credit to the Catholic Faith to fabricate fanciful tales about canonized Saints. But upholding their actual lives and deeds are awesome for our good and God's glory. ("Veneration given to saints is giving glory to God in them and through them; their graces are God's gift to them, and their example is our hope." I found that in Butler's Lives of the Saints, so it must be so ;) )  

So, our children are very familiar with the legends of St. Nicholas that make him a patron of children (you know, like restoring the pickled boys to life) and a generous giver of secret gifts (the old coins-for-the-girls-in-the-stockings story). Our kiddos know that my husband and I give them gifts in honor of Nicholas on his feast day. We certainly invoke his intercession, and while we heartily believe that miraculous events could absolutely occur as a direct result of the intercession of St. Nicholas, we have never told our children that gifts under the tree are those miraculous doings.

There is no other saint that we honor by changing his or her name, insisting that the legends and traditions surrounding him or her are actually going to happen again on a specific night, and celebrate him or her on a day that is not actually their Church-appointed feast day.  It's so absurd that it's hard to even make a decent comparison, so here's a weak one...  St. Patrick is a respected Catholic saint throughout the world.  He's even in good standing among non-Catholics.   He's so much fun we're going to call him Naomh Pádraig (Blessed Patrick) and we're going to say that 19 days after his March 17 feast day, on April 5, he's going to drive all of the snakes out of our backyard (because he did that once in Ireland, and now he's going to do it again.  here.  on April 5.)  It's going to be magical!  And I'm really going to be the one that moves the snakes (or worms, as the case may be in urban Western New York) , but I'm going to convince my children that Naomh did it.   And when my children find out in their tween years that he doesn't really come and rid our neighborhood of snakes each year, they will not mind in the least that I perpetuated this fanciful story to them and they will still be interested in learning everything they can about the real Patrick and they will be drawn into a personal devotion to the real Saint, until they have their own snake-fearing children and realize it's time to resurrect Naomh Padraig.  

See?  It's kind of weird.  It's not really honoring St. Patrick at all.  Calling the modern-day Santa Claus a way to honor St. Nicholas makes about as much sense to me.  My family and I choose to honor St. Nicholas on his feast day with prayer, reading about his life, feasting, and gifts.   My husband and I have not attempted to honor him by telling our kids that he's actually going to show up again, tiptoeing around on our roof a few weeks later.   Nor do we honor any other saint by convincing our kids that he or she is coming to do X, Y, or Z on any given day. So if we were going to insist that Nicholas was going to do the whole roof bit on December 24, we're not really prepared to explain to them why it's just St. Nicholas and why Saints Ursula, Felix, Kunegunda, and Joan of Arc have forsaken our rooftop.

Who knows.  Maybe all of them are up in Heaven now, looking down on poor, misguided me, laughing and shaking their heads at silly little Theresa.  We’ve been on her roof several times and she still doesn't get it! And she's so, so wrong about all of it anyway! Maybe they’ll question me when we finally meet (and Oh!! I hope we do!) as to why I was so Scroogy and unimaginative with making Christmas magic.  Won’t the joke be on me, then!  I’m sure I won’t have any answer than, I love St. Nicholas, and I’m full of the Christmas spirit, but I just never found it necessary to spin tales about the one to enhance the other for myself or for my children.

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My opinions are strong, but they're just that - opinions.  They're important only insofar as they're how I approach holiday traditions and Christmas with my family.  I know a lot of parents (most of them way better at parenting than me) that love celebrating Santa and St. Nicholas, or Santa as St. Nicholas.  Do you believe me when I say, that's ok because it actually has nothing to do with my family?  It's true.  So if you have some different thoughts or opinions or ways you do things with your family, I'm cool with that too, and I'd love for you to chat about them here.  (Except I should clarify, that by "cool" I mean "I can accept our differences"  and you really shouldn't interpret "cool" in the "impressive, hip, or sophisticated" sense.  No one has ever accused me of the second definition ;) )  

Dear Catholic Parishes, Give the Sacraments of Initiation Back to the Community

Dear Catholic Parish, (Anytown, USA), 

I’ve had Sacraments on the brain, and I’ve been forming some pretty strong opinions about the way they’re celebrated, particularly the Sacraments of Initiation.  I’m not going to beat around the bush (because, the bush doesn’t need that kind of foolishness in his life)  Here it is - Sacraments celebrated apart from the congregation at large deprive the community of “the powers that come forth from the Body of Christ” and the “actions of the Holy Spirit at work in his Body, the Church.”  (CCC116)  And in my experience, parishes do this a lot.  

Does your church baptize babies in a special celebration after all the weekend Masses are over with??  Do your young people make their First Holy Communion at a Saturday Mass that’s not usually on the weekend schedule??  Does Confirmation take place similarly, out of the context of a regular weekend Mass??   Yeah.  This is what I’m talking about. 

The Church is the Body of Christ.  We do not practice Catholicism in a vacuum. Just as I am a living, breathing member of my family, so my family is a living, breathing member of our parish, which in turn is a viable and valuable member of the worldwide Body of Christ.  As members, we contribute to the whole, and we benefit from our interconnectedness.  The Church as the Body of Christ is an organic, living body; it lives and moves and breathes due, in part, to its "unitedness."   If this is true, then why are the Sacraments of Initiation – the sacraments which breathe new life into our Church -  typically severed from the rest of the body?  Why do many parishes tend to celebrate the Sacraments of Initiation "in a vacuum?"  

This spring, we prepared our oldest child to receive his First Holy Communion. It had long been a desire of my heart that he receive Eucharist for the first time at the 8 AM Sunday Mass we regularly attend as opposed to the specially scheduled Saturday First Communion Mass.  I think initially my reasons were entirely selfish - I didn’t want to be surrounded by strangers at his First Holy Communion, I didn’t want to suffer through rehearsals and wrangling scores of kids and getting them to stand quietly in height order for processing and photographs. I didn’t want my children to even know that there was such thing as a FHC fashion show mentality.  I just wanted a simple and special event for him at the Mass we regularly attend on weekends.  

Gradually, as I prayed about the circumstances of his First Communion, my selfish reasons were tempered with a new thought – what if Aaron’s First Communion at the 8 AM Sunday Mass could be significant for our fellow parishioners??  I wanted Aaron to receive his First Communion in the midst of the community that we celebrated Eucharist with every weekend, and I began to believe that they might appreciate it as well.  They are the community that has watched him grow and mature in his Mass behavior and participation for over seven years.  They are the people who have welcomed and encouraged our family at Mass, despite crying babies, distracting toddlers, and foolish children.  They are the people who have brought us gifts to welcome a newborn, who have bought us doughnuts at the Youth Group bake sale, and who didn't seem to mind that one time when I attended Mass with my sweater on inside out :)   My heart told me that having Aaron make his First Communion amidst this community would be a gift our family could give back to our Church.  They have already seen the good, the bad, and the unbelievably embarrassing when it comes to our family.  I wanted them also to share in our family's overwhelming joy when one of our children received Jesus for the first time.  

Despite the length of those two paragraphs (+ forgive me, Father, for I am long-winded +), the issue is not really about my son, and it's not just about First Communion.  Baptism and Confirmation are the other Sacraments of Initiation that breathe new life into the Church by literally adding members to the Faith community.   Four of our five children were baptized during "special" services that were not during a regular Mass.  I'm under the impression that is a common practice now.  While the Sacrament is still monumentally significant and grace-filled no matter the circumstances under which it is celebrated, I wish our babies could have been welcomed into the community of believers in the presence of the community and in the context of the Eucharist.  "...The Eucharist occupies a unique place as the "Sacrament of sacraments… and all the other sacraments are ordered to it as to their end."  (CCC 1211)  I wish that our fellow parishioners, those we celebrate the Eucharist with each week, could have also experienced the joy and thanksgiving of seeing a new Child of God washed of original sin, gifted with Grace, and brought into the fold.   

In celebrating the Sacraments of Initiation outside of the parish community's regularly scheduled Masses, a large percentage of the Church community is deprived of witnessing the gentle stirrings of new life at Baptisms, the nourishment of young Catholics in First Holy Communion, and the powerful presence of the Spirit in the newest full members of the Faith in Confirmation.  

Consider the elderly of a parish who may never be invited to a Baptism or First Communion.  Consider those who have little hope for the future of the Church because they don't witness young families bringing their babies into the Faith via Baptism.  Older parishioners might understandably lament that the "Church is dying out" if they don’t witness Baptisms or never have the opportunity to see young adults receive Confirmation.

Consider the young parents who may not attend Mass faithfully, but whose hearts are feeling the tug to baptize their new baby and return to more regular participation at church.  That Baptism, done in the context of a regular weekend Mass automatically puts that couple in the presence of a community that will welcome them, congratulate then, and hopefully seek them out the next Sunday.  A young couple whose baby is baptized outside of a regular Mass may never see and meet other young families who attend that parish, missing an opportunity to be encouraged and supported by like-minded moms and dads.  "Baptism is the Sacrament of faith.  But faith needs the community of believers... The whole ecclesial community bears some responsibility for the development and safeguarding of the grace given at Baptism."  (CCC 1253, 1255)  A baby's Baptism into the Church is not an isolated, private event significant only for himself or his parents.  It is the beginning of a lifelong faith journey in which all the faithful are called to participate.  Baptisms during Mass, amidst the community, are the natural way to draw the parish family into that "participation."  

Consider children who eagerly await their own First Holy Communion being able to witness a friend a few years older receive Eucharist for the first time.  In rejoicing for that friend, parents have a natural opportunity to convey the "inexhaustible richness of this sacrament" (CCC 1328), to begin preparing their own child for the Sacrament, and to nurture his or her holy anticipation!

Consider children who, having no siblings or cousins, have never been to a Baptism other than their own infant Baptism.  All the pictures of Baptisms in a first grade religion book cannot replace the experience of witnessing the anointing of a baby with sweet smelling chrism, seeing the water flow over his head, and hearing the words "I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit."  In seeing all the joyful excitement and loving fuss made over the newly baptized baby, a child may more deeply come to understand how special and transformative her own baptism was.  

In my humble, and unfortunately poorly expressed opinion, everyone comes up short when the Sacraments of Initiation are "isolated" events.  The community is deprived of participating in the events which strengthen the Body of Christ as well as the individual members.  The individuals receiving the sacraments are not immersed in the interconnectedness that is the sacraments, the Eucharist, and community.  By incorporating the Sacraments of Initiation into the regularly scheduled Masses at which the parish community is gathered, children and adults alike are given the opportunity to live the truth that "the whole liturgical life of the Church revolves around the Eucharistic sacrifice and the sacraments."   They will see firsthand that they themselves are vital to the life of the Church and that the church community is vital to their encounter with Christ in the sacraments.  For "the purpose of the sacraments is to sanctify men, to build up the body of Christ, and finally, to give worship to God." (CCC 1123)  Let us worship Him together!   Give the Sacraments of Initiation back to the community!   

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Incidentally, my son was able to receive his First Holy Communion at the Mass we attend every Sunday!  He was much celebrated and congratulated by the many friends we have in our parish community, and my husband and I were thrilled that he received Jesus for the first time in this way. 

However, since I started writing this post two or three months ago, I have discussed this topic with a few other moms and bloggers and recognize that other families have significantly different feelings on this topic.  One friend mentioned to me that she felt First Holy Communion was more significant for her daughter because she got to receive Our Lord for the first time with several of her good friends at a special Mass.  While Aaron's reception of the Eucharist was of course special, it was not a special Mass specific to First Communion - the homily wasn't about Eucharist, we didn't sing "One Bread, One Body," etc....  Those things may be important for a  family that wants a Mass tailored to First Holy Communion.  Those things weren't as important to us as celebrating amidst the community.  

Another mom I chatted with organizes a special event with their bishop for local homeschoolers receiving Confirmation; it’s celebrated during the course of a retreat weekend.  It is important to her that her children receive Confirmation in a singular and celebratory event.  

My husband and I have also discussed this topic with our parish Director of Lifelong Faith Formation.  While he tends to agree with several of my points, he also has the most difficult and un-enviable job of serving the children of the parish who may otherwise fall through the cracks if it weren’t for religious ed classes and events.  Sometimes the administration-related logistics and the spiritual subtleties inherent in serving a large and varied congregation are more complicated and nuanced than simple parishioners like me can imagine :)

The thoughts I’ve outlined here are opinions, and I heartily recognize there will be opinions different that mine.  I am happy to host a discussion of those differences here, but will require that comments be civil, considerate, and charitable for them to remain up in the post. 

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