Dear Catholic Parish, (Anytown, USA),
I’ve had Sacraments
on the brain, and I’ve been forming some pretty strong opinions about the way
they’re celebrated, particularly the Sacraments of Initiation. I’m not going to beat around the bush
(because, the bush doesn’t need that kind of foolishness in his life) Here it is - Sacraments celebrated apart from the congregation at large deprive the
community of “the powers that come forth from the Body of Christ” and the
“actions of the Holy Spirit at work in his Body, the Church.” (CCC116)
And in my experience, parishes do this a lot.
Does your church baptize babies in a special celebration after all the weekend Masses are over with?? Do your young people make their First Holy Communion at a Saturday Mass that’s not usually on the weekend schedule?? Does Confirmation take place similarly, out of the context of a regular weekend Mass?? Yeah. This is what I’m talking about.
Does your church baptize babies in a special celebration after all the weekend Masses are over with?? Do your young people make their First Holy Communion at a Saturday Mass that’s not usually on the weekend schedule?? Does Confirmation take place similarly, out of the context of a regular weekend Mass?? Yeah. This is what I’m talking about.
The Church is the
Body of Christ. We
do not
practice Catholicism in a vacuum. Just as I am a living, breathing member of my
family, so my family is a living, breathing member of our parish, which in turn
is a viable and valuable member of the worldwide Body of Christ. As members,
we contribute to the whole, and we benefit from our interconnectedness. The Church as the Body of Christ is an
organic, living body; it lives and moves and breathes due, in part, to its
"unitedness." If this is true, then why are the Sacraments
of Initiation – the sacraments which breathe new life into our Church - typically severed from the rest of the body?
Why do many parishes tend to celebrate the Sacraments of Initiation
"in a vacuum?"
This spring, we prepared our oldest child to receive his First Holy Communion. It
had long been a desire of my heart that he receive Eucharist for the first
time at the 8 AM Sunday Mass we regularly attend as opposed to the specially
scheduled Saturday First Communion Mass. I think initially my reasons
were entirely selfish - I didn’t want to be surrounded by strangers at his
First Holy Communion, I didn’t want to suffer through rehearsals and wrangling scores of kids and getting them to stand quietly in height order for processing and photographs. I didn’t want my children to even know that there was such thing as a FHC fashion
show mentality. I just wanted a simple
and special event for him at the Mass
we regularly attend on weekends.
Gradually, as I prayed
about the circumstances of his First Communion, my selfish reasons were tempered
with a new thought – what if Aaron’s First Communion at the 8 AM Sunday Mass could
be significant for our fellow
parishioners?? I wanted Aaron to receive
his First Communion in the midst of the community that we celebrated Eucharist with
every weekend, and I began to believe that they might appreciate it as well.
They are the community
that has watched him grow and mature in his Mass behavior and participation for
over seven years. They are
the people who have welcomed and encouraged our family at Mass, despite crying
babies, distracting toddlers, and foolish children. They
are the people who have brought us gifts to welcome a newborn, who have
bought us doughnuts at the Youth Group bake sale, and who didn't seem to mind
that one time when I attended Mass with my sweater on inside out :) My
heart told me that having Aaron make his First Communion amidst this community would be a gift our
family could give back to our Church. They have already seen the good,
the bad, and the unbelievably embarrassing when it comes to our family. I wanted them also to share in our family's
overwhelming joy when one of our children received Jesus for the first time.
Despite the length of
those two paragraphs (+ forgive me, Father, for I am long-winded +), the issue is
not really about my son, and it's not just about First Communion. Baptism
and Confirmation are the other Sacraments of Initiation that breathe new life
into the Church by literally adding members to the Faith
community. Four of our five children were baptized during
"special" services that were not during a regular Mass. I'm
under the impression that is a common practice now. While the Sacrament
is still monumentally significant and grace-filled no matter the circumstances
under which it is celebrated, I wish our babies could have been welcomed into
the community of believers in
the presence of the community and in the context of the Eucharist. "...The
Eucharist occupies a unique place as the "Sacrament of sacraments… and all
the other sacraments are ordered to it as to their end." (CCC
1211) I wish that our fellow parishioners, those we celebrate the
Eucharist with each week, could have also experienced the joy and thanksgiving
of seeing a new Child of God washed of original sin, gifted with Grace, and
brought into the fold.
In celebrating the
Sacraments of Initiation outside of the parish community's regularly scheduled
Masses, a large percentage of the Church community is deprived of witnessing
the gentle stirrings of new life at Baptisms, the nourishment of young
Catholics in First Holy Communion, and the powerful presence of the Spirit in
the newest full members of the Faith in Confirmation.
Consider the
elderly of a parish who may never be invited to a Baptism or First Communion.
Consider those who have little hope for the future of the Church because
they don't witness young families bringing their babies into the Faith via
Baptism. Older parishioners might understandably lament that the
"Church is dying out" if they don’t witness Baptisms or never have
the opportunity to see young adults receive Confirmation.
Consider the young parents who may not attend Mass faithfully, but
whose hearts are feeling the tug to baptize their new baby and return to more
regular participation at church. That Baptism, done in the context of a
regular weekend Mass automatically puts that couple in the presence of a
community that will welcome them, congratulate then, and hopefully seek them
out the next Sunday. A young couple whose baby is baptized outside of a
regular Mass may never see and meet other young families who attend that
parish, missing an opportunity to be encouraged and supported by like-minded
moms and dads. "Baptism is the Sacrament of faith. But faith
needs the community of believers... The whole ecclesial community bears some
responsibility for the development and safeguarding of the grace given at
Baptism." (CCC 1253, 1255) A baby's Baptism into the Church is
not an isolated, private event significant only for himself or his parents.
It is the beginning of a lifelong faith journey in which all the faithful are called to
participate. Baptisms during Mass, amidst the community, are the natural way
to draw the parish family into that "participation."
Consider children
who eagerly await their own First Holy Communion being able to witness a friend
a few years older receive Eucharist for the first time. In rejoicing for
that friend, parents have a natural opportunity to convey the
"inexhaustible richness of this sacrament" (CCC 1328), to begin
preparing their own child for the Sacrament, and to nurture his or her holy
anticipation!
Consider children who, having no siblings or cousins, have never been to a
Baptism other than their own infant Baptism. All the pictures of Baptisms
in a first grade religion book cannot replace the experience of witnessing the
anointing of a baby with sweet smelling chrism, seeing the water flow over his
head, and hearing the words "I baptize you in the name of the Father, and of
the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." In seeing all the joyful
excitement and loving fuss made over the newly baptized baby, a child may more
deeply come to understand how special and transformative her own baptism was.
In my humble, and
unfortunately poorly expressed opinion, everyone comes up short when the Sacraments
of Initiation are "isolated" events. The community is deprived
of participating in the events which strengthen the Body of Christ as well as the individual members. The individuals
receiving the sacraments are not immersed in the interconnectedness that is the
sacraments, the Eucharist, and community.
By incorporating the Sacraments of Initiation into the regularly
scheduled Masses at which the parish community is gathered, children and adults
alike are given the opportunity to live the truth that "the whole
liturgical life of the Church revolves around the Eucharistic sacrifice and the
sacraments." They will see firsthand that they themselves are
vital to the life of the Church and that the church community is vital to their
encounter with Christ in the sacraments. For "the purpose of the
sacraments is to sanctify men, to build up the body of Christ, and finally, to
give worship to God." (CCC 1123)
Let us worship Him together! Give
the Sacraments of Initiation back to the community!
* *
* * * *
Incidentally, my son was able to receive his First Holy Communion at the Mass we attend every Sunday! He was much celebrated and congratulated by
the many friends we have in our parish community, and my husband and I were
thrilled that he received Jesus for the first time in this way.
However, since I started writing this post two or three months ago, I have discussed this topic with a few other
moms and bloggers and recognize that other families have significantly different
feelings on this topic. One friend mentioned to me that she felt First Holy Communion was more significant for her
daughter because she got to receive Our Lord for the first time with several of her good friends at a special
Mass. While Aaron's reception of the Eucharist was of course special, it was not a special Mass specific to First Communion - the homily wasn't about Eucharist, we didn't sing "One Bread, One Body," etc.... Those things may be important for a family that wants a Mass tailored to First Holy Communion. Those things weren't as important to us as celebrating amidst the community.
Another mom I chatted with organizes
a special event with their bishop for local homeschoolers receiving Confirmation;
it’s celebrated during the course of a retreat weekend. It is important to her that her children receive Confirmation in a singular and celebratory event.
My husband and I have also discussed this topic with our parish Director of Lifelong Faith Formation. While he tends to agree with several of my points, he also has the most difficult and un-enviable job of serving the children of the parish who may otherwise fall through the cracks if it weren’t for religious ed classes and events. Sometimes the administration-related logistics and the spiritual subtleties inherent in serving a large and varied congregation are more complicated and nuanced than simple parishioners like me can imagine :)
My husband and I have also discussed this topic with our parish Director of Lifelong Faith Formation. While he tends to agree with several of my points, he also has the most difficult and un-enviable job of serving the children of the parish who may otherwise fall through the cracks if it weren’t for religious ed classes and events. Sometimes the administration-related logistics and the spiritual subtleties inherent in serving a large and varied congregation are more complicated and nuanced than simple parishioners like me can imagine :)
The thoughts I’ve outlined here are opinions, and I
heartily recognize there will be opinions different that mine. I am happy to host a discussion of those
differences here, but will require that comments be civil, considerate, and charitable
for them to remain up in the post.
* * * * * *
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I have to agree whole-heartedly, here, even as an evangelical. :) I really see your points. I can also see reasons to celebrate sacraments separately in special masses, mainly logistical. But ideally, if there was a separate mass held for that purpose, wouldn't it be nice if the general church community still attended, too? Do you think it's a symptom? I feel like it's difficult to REALLY be in a church "community", and this is across sects, not singling out the Catholics. Churches are big, have several services or masses, and people travel and have varied schedules. I admit to envying your steady 8AM mass attendance, and your being so committed to that church family that having Aaron's first communion at that time was so meaningful. Any given month, we're in town maybe 2 weekends... and that's a choice, and we could prioritize being in town, but we don't. I kind of feel like separating the sacraments is a symptom of sporadic or else varied mass/service attendance. Where people are committed to Catholicism, or Christianity, and maybe even attend every week, but are not committed to a specific service or mass or body of believers they see regularly. And that's not necessarily even a criticism, but it's just that towns used to be built around churches, you know? Everyone went and knew everyone, and had a picnic afterward? I think I was born in the wrong century. I have such a love for muslin. :)
ReplyDeletehaha! Muslin! You wear Ma Ingalls-style dresses to church, don't you?!
DeleteSo true that community is harder these days! Churches and church schools used to be foundations of neighborhoods, but that's definitely not true anymore. Community is often hard even when we DO attend the same Mass regularly :(
I agree with your point that even if special services would held, the ideal scenario would be that the rest of the church community came out for that to support the kids, families, etc... but that is rarely the case. I don't know if it's that most people don't want to add more "church" to their week, or perhaps they don't feel welcome if it doesn't directly affect them? It's probably several things that when added up reflect modern society's tendency toward isolationism and putting individual needs before those of a community :(
I totally agree with you and both my children were blessed to receive their First Holy Communion at the Sunday Mass we typically attend. However, I can see how this would present a bit of a logistical challenge for Faith Formation staffs, particularly at larger parishes. I guess there is no easy, one size fits all solution, but I have found that most priests and faith formation staff are more than willing to work with families who are sincerely seeking The Lord
ReplyDeleteYes, Debbie! I think the best any family could hope for is a pastor that is willing to consider the needs of individual families when they approach him. We were so blessed that this was the opinion of our current pastor and religious ed director. It hadn't always been that way.
DeleteI love the points you put forth. It can be so demoralizing when you have these thoughts and get nowhere with the parish because you are asking for an exception. Incidently, both of my girls were Baptized in private ceremonies, because we have dear priest friends who we asked the preside (is that the right word? Celebrate? Officiate? Confer the Sacrament?). But I do love the idea of the entire parish being involved. We usually make an effort to go to the dedicated First Communion Mass so that out girls can witness the beauty of it and we can have good conversations.
ReplyDeleteI LOVE when I have been to Baptisms celebrated by priests who are close friends of the family although they may not be from that parish, so that's a great point to consider. Also, I'm so very impressed that you've taken your girls to the FHC Mass!!!! I imagine that it's really special for them to witness and that your church appreciates having your family there to celebrate with the First Communicants!
DeleteWhen my oldest three received their First Communions, we had a choice. We could either go to the Mass with the almost 100 other kids, or choose a normal Mass time that same weekend. We always chose a normal Mass time. When it was our 4th's turn, our church was under construction, so there was no choice. Everyone had to go to the Mass at the Cathedral downtown. Since then, they have never given the families a choice. Our 5th receives his First Communion this year, and I am going to request he receives it during a different Mass. We'll see how that goes. All Baptisms are done after Mass. Confirmation is always at a Mass at the cathedral, since there are about 90 kids who receive every year. It is much easier for the Archbishop, since we have so many Catholic churches in our Archdiocese.
ReplyDeleteI would like for parishes to give the families a choice. Most people chose to do the large, special Mass for First Communion. I am guessing most families would choose to have their babies Baptized after Mass. But there would always be some families who would choose the normal Mass time. The parishioners would then get the benefits you discussed.
I must throw in here, though, not all (dare I say most?) parishioners would be happy to see these Sacraments done during Mass. It adds time that they have to be in church. I remember well the people who rolled their eyes and groaned when they got to church and realized it was First Communion weekend and 5 kids' families chose that particular Mass.
I have gone over your last point in my head a dozen times. I think I probably was one of those people at one point :( I know that "longer Masses" due to Baptisms or First Communions will never be popular with everyone! Can't avoid human nature, right? ;)
DeleteI think I might have changed my mind about this when our second or third was being baptized and I was so happy that our other kids got to witness it since they obviously didn't remember their own. I started to think maybe there was something to that - actually getting to witness the most important Sacraments in the Church might be good for other parishioners who may not attend them regularly outside of Mass.
I hope and pray that you able to celebrate your son's First Communion in the way that's best for your family!
What an interesting post! You've given me a lot of food for thought. Thank you!
ReplyDeleteWhen I received First Communion, it was indeed at our regular Mass ... but *also* with two of my friends, who were the same age and also homeschooled as I was. So I kind of got the best of both worlds. :)
A local church performed a baptism in the beginning of Mass, and my oldest godson was also baptized during Mass. But other than that, every baptism I've ever been to has been outside the context of the Eucharist. I guess I can understand why people want to separate it--partly convenience, and also I can imagine extended members of our family feeling it would be less "special" to not have the baby be the sole focus if the baptism happened during Mass. But of course that misses the deeper truth of what is happening in the sacrament.
I love that you got those "best of both worlds!" Since we homeschool and do our own religious ed/studies at home, my son didn't have any friends in our parish's FHC class. In fact, almost all of my son's friends had been permitted to make their First Communions (at their own parishes) in 2nd grade, so he was sort of a sacramental straggler as far as his friends were concerned!
DeleteThanks for commenting!
Well written. Our parish does do infant baptisms after the Sunday Mass, but First Communion takes place during "normal" weekend Masses, and adult baptisms (through RCIA) happen at the Vigil (so so beautiful). I will say for the baptisms that an announcement is always made at the Masses prior to on who is going to be baptized, and we have often stayed to celebrate with the families if we hear a name we know as they are open to the parish at large.
ReplyDeleteI've always loved that adult baptisms are celebrated at the vigil!! The Mass is usually so packed for the highlight of the Liturgical year and everyone gets to witness that new life! Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Jen!
DeleteI just love your post, you make many wonderfully expressed points with plenty of food for thought!
ReplyDeleteMy overall thought regards the Sacraments of Confession and FHC is this, ultimately you are your child's first and foremost educator, therefore you are the one to make the best decision as to where/when this should happen. You should and were able to choose when your son was able to make his FHC, and I'm thrilled to hear it was such a positive experience. You've given me heart for my situation (that I've shared with you).
Fascinating thoughts re Baptism, when our Siena (18mths) was baptised I invited all the older ladies who sit around us every Sunday and the nuns. They were all thrilled to come and did comment that they never see a baptism these days.
Oh, I love that you invited the older parishioners and nuns to the Baptism! They just LOVE seeing kids and families at Mass, so I can imagine how overjoyed they were!
DeleteThanks again for sharing your thoughts on this with me and for being a "sounding board" :) I really appreciate all the differences of opinion expressed here and think it's interesting to be able to discuss the ways in which the Church serves families and the ways in which our families can serve the Church.
I hear where you're coming from on all these points. But, I would disagree. We have had separate, private baptisms for all six of my children and I wouldn't change that at all. My nieces and nephews have been a mix of in the context of the regular Mass and a separate occasion. They have all been beautiful, but with the chaos of a big family, I have appreciated those smaller settings. The Mass is shorter, the Sacrament equally powerful and we are surrounded by those closest to us (in our case, immediate family and Godparents). As for FHC and Confirmation, we attend a very large parish. Having these as part of a regular Mass would be, quite honestly, a zoo. Our parish seats 1,500 and it was packed to the gills for communion. It would be a nightmare to plan as part of a regular Mass. And, I'll admit that I did love that the homily, music and entire approach was entirely focused on our children and their first communion. It made it special, something to be celebrated, and our priest did a phenomenal job. Again, I think it depends on the context of your parish and the priest. People were certainly welcome to celebrate their first communion (and reconciliation for that matter) on a separate occasion at the Mass of their choosing. Several even celebrated in other countries near friends and family. As for confirmation, our oldest will be doing that in the next year. And I must say that I am thrilled he will be doing it as a part of a retreat weekend. Again, the focus will be on his new life in Christ in a Mass solely dedicated to the occasion. And, the logistics just don't allow for an "in-Mass" experience. I don't think there's any one right way. That's the beauty of the Sacraments. Whether celebrated in the context of Mass or privately, the focus doesn't change. I think we have to take into account the parish size and desires of the community. If we had all those things in the context of the Mass, we would easily have 1.5 or 2 hour Masses - on a regular basis. Thanks, but no thanks! I appreciate you sharing your viewpoint!
ReplyDeleteThanks for your thoughts, Kathryn! I also usually appreciate cozy, intimate, family affairs, so I surprise myself with my own ideas here! As I mentioned, I would have sacrificed the cozy baptisms if we had been able to share them with our parish community (the little introverted angel on my shoulder is reeling!)
DeleteLove your reminder that the Sacraments are efficacious regardless of the size of the crowd that witnesses them (thankfully, no one's been crowding me around the confessional. he!) And I love that in some parishes parents have more of a choice as to how they bring their children forward for the Sacraments. Especially in large parishes, it's a nice way for the pastor to show that you're not just one in a thousand families and that he sees each family's individual needs. I think large parishes could manage this by allowing children to make their FHC when the children indicate that they are "ready," (to the parents and pastor) instead of choosing one Mass as the FHC Mass for all the kids. It *would* be "a zoo!"
Thanks for stopping by and commenting!
Yes, I'm with Kathryn - the last few babies have been baptized at 2 weeks and it's SO much easier to have a private baptism because we don't have to worry about being on time/getting the baby in the gown and keeping it clean for more than 10 minutes/somehow wrangling all the crazy young children in the midst of a full Mass (because our friends all have a million little kids, too!), etc. I *do* like the idea of the sacraments involving the community but gosh, it can be really hard when you've *just* had a baby!
DeleteThanks for your comments, Rosie! Our last couple of babies were also baptized really early and I remember thinking, "Oh, *this* is why in the old days the godmother would just pick up the baby and take it to church for baptism! Mom's at home recovering and keeping her sanity ;) )
DeleteHave you read the instructions for the Rite of Infant baptism? Just curious, because the instructions are quite clear that baptisms during Mass are permitted but "should not happen too often." (no reason given) Which is sufficiently vague for me to accept any amount of baptisms during Mass that a priest felt was appropriate for his parish, provided that he was offering it in a timely manner in private ceremony. So while I think it's fine to have a preference, if a priest were to say that he doesn't do that much, I think it's only honoring to let him make that decision. We've always done ceremonies after Mass. My FIL is a permanent deacon and we like to have him do it in the Latin Rite, which doesn't have a 'during Mass' Rite, so that's that reason for our decision. I don't know what our preference would be otherwise but we would probably leave it up to the parish priest. I am totally with you on the First Communion thing though.
ReplyDeleteSo interesting! I haven't read that. I only know that when I was a kid, there were more baptisms during Mass than there are now. I wonder what's behind it. You've given me some interesting research to do! (meaning -- I'll email our deacon ;) )
DeleteI think it's very special to have friends and family members officiate the Sacraments when possible! How awesome for your children to have been baptized by their own Grandfather!!
http://courseweb.stthomas.edu/jmjoncas/LiturgicalStudiesInternetLinks/ChristianWorship/Texts/Centuries/Texts_1900_2000CE/RCWorshipTexts1900_2000CE/Baptism%20for%20Children%20Introduction.htm Just to make your research a bit easier, this is the document my husband and I reviewed a while back while looking into this issue for our children. Paragraph 9 is the particular paragraph I'm referring to. It's from 1969 and I can't be sure that it's latest there is but (I think) it's the official one. I didn't notice this before, but I think it's interesting that it mentions a few of the advantages of having the baptism during the Mass, right before saying it shouldn't be done often. Maybe it's just that it's not considered THE standard way to do it, or if it's just to prevent an 'every Sunday' type of thing. (I've been a part of a parish that had baptisms during Mass probably 2-3 times a month. And praise God for all those babies but, and I admit it was during my most frazzled 2 kids under 2 time, it felt like a lot to me.)
DeleteI love your perspective on First Communjon! I totally agree that it can help cut down on the pagentry of it all, plus it is a Sacrament that doesn't "add more time" to the Mass (I.e. No disgruntled parishioners!). FHC Masses have become so much more zoo-like, IMO, with churches hiring videographers, visitors ignoring stated and written guidelines and all holding up their iPhones for a (most likely blurry, awful quality) photo of something that is so much more precious than a photo shoot moment, drama about dress code, and more. However, for Baptisms, I think it is much more common for non-Catholic family members to attend. In this case, I think it is up to the individual family to decide. It can get awkward in the context of a regular Sunday Mass to have just your pew of non-Catholics sitting in the front, unsure of when to sit/stand etc., how best to explain that Communion is for Catholics in the state of grace, etc. It seems easier to have a private Baptism and Mass and make programs, etc. Plus the larger our family gets, the less stressful it is to be just those who are able to carry a loud toddler and not mind the noise. We have also had a priest who is a family friend baptize all our kids privately and it has been really special.
ReplyDeleteI have done both the "special services" and at-Mass sacraments with my kids and find beauty and blessings in both. For Baptism, in particular, I think at Mass is SO WONDERFUL! two of my three were baptized at Mass per my request, and, today, two children were baptized during a Mass on the Baptism of Our Lord's day while all the otherr people who have had baptisms this year were invited to come. My son was serving today on the altar and, after Mass, commented at how happy he was to help welcome the babies into our church as they begin their faith journey. That was awesome@
ReplyDelete