I Want the Tidying Up, But Not KonMari's Brand of "Life-Changing Magic"

I recently finished the popular and much-discussed book The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of Decluttering and Organizing by Marie Kondo.  I spent several months on a virtual public library queue waiting for it to be my turn to read this thing.  Come on, people!  Have you seen my house?  I need this book yesterday!  

It took me about a week to read it, but that's because I only stole snippets of reading time here and there.  It's a quick and easy read.  I was very engaged through the whole first half. The first half is about getting rid of stuff, and I've always wanted to have the guts to do that in a major way.   I sped through the second half about storing things because the book was overdue (and the library seems to think that other people on the queue take priority over my renewal needs...)  And then the last few pages left me deflated.  And sad for Ms. Kondo...

But let me back up a little...

She calls her method the KonMari Method (it's a derivative of her name).  The basic principles of the book are these:

* You keep only the things that "spark joy"  (Riiiight -- basically, you keep things that swell your heart or give you a thrill when you touch them.  Soooo, that's a little weird, but I can work with it...)

* Following Kondo's categories of belongings (and in the order she tells you to tackle them) you physically handle every item in your home and discard those that don't bring you joy.  According to her, this is probably about 2/3 to 3/4 of what you currently own.  

* Once you have kept only those things that spark joy, you must identify the place where they belong and commit to storing things in their proper spots.

* You rarely need new-fangled storage solutions with her method.  You're not really tidying if you're just hiding things from view in clever organizational contraptions.  You just need to eliminate the things that don't bring you joy and use the storage space you already have for all that's left.

* If you do her method the "right" way, Kondo is emphatic that you will never have to do it again.  For her, tidying is a one time life event (usually spanning 6 to 12 months), and once done properly, you will never submit to clutter again.

* Your real life begins after putting your house in order.  The act of tidying is not the purpose of life, but a tidy home allows for your space and mind and time and energies to pursue "what brings you the most joy, your mission in life."

I buy into a lot of what she has to offer, and in fact, my husband and I, even though we weren't following her method to a T, got the decluttering bug and in three days we hauled out four huge bags of garbage, five huge bags of stuff to donate, and put several large items - like old high chairs and baby seats - at the curb.  It's addicting!  I'm on a roll, and will share about our decluttering in a forthcoming post.  (I don't want to confuse my thoughts on the book with the practical applications ;) ) 

Like many other Christian bloggers have referred to, there were several suggestions in the book that I did not take to heart... things like greeting your home when you enter it, thanking your belongings for a job well done, treating your clothes to a refreshing break after they've done "a hard day's work," not stacking items in your home because that squeezes the life out of them, totally emptying your purse at the end of the day (really????)  This isn't the way we do things around here.  Especially not the purse part, and especially not the talking to our house and possessions part.  It is right to appreciate the place of belongings in our life, but it is infinitely more appropriate and fulfilling to thank God for the blessing of those things.  In addition, we should be good stewards of the gifts we've been given, but giving undue importance to objects is at best weird, and at worst, idolatry. 

It's this last point that left me feeling uneasy at the end of the book.  For Kondo, a tidy home becomes the idol - the source of supreme happiness.  Since her childhood, the author admits to feeling ignored in family life and out of place at school because her interests led her to pursue activities not typical to a traditional childhood.  Discarding, organizing, storing, and tidying have always fascinated her and became her ultimate  happiness.  She writes, "I can think of no greater happiness in life than to be surrounded only by the things I love....  All you need to do is get rid of anything that doesn't touch your heart.  There is no simpler way to contentment.  What else could this be called but "the magic of tidying up."

All the things that I considered ridiculous up to this point in her book had been easy to ignore, or replace with a faith-based alternative. But this last bit sounded too sad for words.  In the end, a tidy home afforded Kondo her  "greatest happiness"  - being surrounded by the things she loved.  Not people.  Not a relationship with the living God, or any god.  Not faith or hope.  Not love.  

Like many, I too, long for a tidy home.  I long to live clutter-free.  I long to have a place for everything and everything in its place.  I long for my children to improve at putting away toys and books when they're done using them.  I long to have beautiful things surrounding me.  I long to keep my counter tops clear.  I long to "know" where my shoes belong because I tend to leave them everywhere.  (I'm the only one in the family w/o a designated shoe bin or spot and it shows....)  I long for all these things, but not because my greatest happiness will be fulfilled by sitting in the midst of my beloved belongings.  I desire a tidy home because it lends itself to virtue.  I desire a tidy home ...so that my family members become the obvious focus of every room ...so that loving and serving my family can be done with ease of motion (!) and without the distraction of clutter ...so that I do not trip on stuff when serving aforementioned family ...so that we can pray in a room that allows our hearts and minds to focus on God instead of what needs to be picked up around here ...so that we can sit down to a meal without having to move piles of school books and craft supplies ... so that we can extend holy hospitality to our friends and so that our guests feel at ease and at home and not concerned about disturbing the precarious piles of stuff ...so that I can eliminate all swearing due to stepping on Lego pieces ...so that our home is a reflection of the gratitude we feel for these blessings - four walls, a solid roof, our food and material possessions - all a testament to God's goodness in the specific ways he cares for our family ...so that we can share our bounty with others ...so that we can use our belongings as tools for growth in joy, friendship, and wisdom ...so that we can appreciate our things instead of grumble about them ... And lastly, (and this is totally and completely confidential between you and me.  pinky swear?  ok.) I desire a tidy home so as to break free from the clutter-induced temper tantrums from which I occasionally suffer (embarrassingly, this a real thing for me).    

Kondo has so much wisdom and experience to offer - indeed, plenty to keep me busy for some time!  We've only just begun, but it has already had a liberating effect :)  And I truly can't wait to continue our decluttering and to implement some of her method in earnest.  But where the book falls short, my prayer will pick up the slack.  God is the giver of all good things; he alone will be granted my prayers of thanksgiving and praise.  And my deepest desire, the prayer of my heart, will be that the efforts we put into discarding, sorting, and storing our belongings will reap mighty and holy rewards in the heart of our family.  For when we are more fully able to love and serve each other, and in turn love and serve Jesus Christ, there we will find true joy and happiness, and that is the "life-changing magic" that I want.  

Lord, True joy and happiness come from you!  In you alone do we find the peace, comfort, order and solace we want to convey in our homes, to our spouses, our children, and our guests.  Give us your guidance as we tidy our homes, and in turn our hearts and minds, so that there may be more of you and less distraction and clutter.  Grant us the grace to grow in virtue as we order our homes to better and love and serve you.  Amen.