Thoughts on Baby Wearing from a Self-Proclaimed Non Baby-Wearer

I don't consider myself a baby wearer, and yet I've been wearing my babies more and more frequently with each successive child.  

Awkward mirror selfie.  I don't think I'll be doing any of those again...

I count myself as a non baby-wearer because I've never worn my babies because it was the "right" thing to do.  I'm not an enthusiast because of theories, or studies, or philosophies, though I certainly respect moms and dads who enthusiastically wear their babies for those reasons.  For those families, encouragement like this is lovely...

But this kind of stuff...

... I find ridiculous, bordering on offensive.  I mean, really??  I'll wear a baby or keep him in a car seat or stroller as the situation warrants, but does that mean you have to portray me and my kind as unhappy-in-our-marriages, indifferent-towards-our-children, and living life in a black-and-white depressed funk??  Oh brother.  I'm actually not super offended by it because I'm confident in the parenting decisions I've made in this regard, but I do think it's unfortunate that this kind of thing even came up when I Googled "baby wearing images" :(

My choices don't get me down.  I feel very comfortable letting my babies often be near me, but not on me.  I'm happy to let a sleeping baby nap on his back or his stomach and don't believe that sleeping on me is any more valuable.   I may start out on a walk wearing the baby but switch him to the stroller once the toddler hops out.  As far as I know, my mom never "wore" me and we've had a close, healthy, loving relationship my whole life.  (Right, Mom?)  And I've witnessed that my own kids feel close, secure, and loved by me despite having been taken for walks in strollers between the ages of just-born and 3.  

So, I guess I'm not a baby-wearer in theory.  I'm just a baby wearer in practice.  I don't do it because it's important, or right, or healthy.  I do it because it's convenient and it's sometimes the easiest way to manage four kids plus a newborn in the day to day.  

I just love love love that tiny piece of face peaking through!

My reasons to wear babies:

* to enjoy the use of two hands (examples of activities that require two hands: making lunch for other children, giving insulin injections after said lunch, getting children out of trees that they climbed up but could not climb down, changing a diaper, and other mom necessities like crocheting and opening a bag of emergency I-need-chips-now ;) )
* to avoid having strangers ask to touch and hold my baby in public (this has been an especially critical technique for the grocery store, where it seems like everyone you run into wants to stroke your baby and hold him for a little while.  "Oh no, I'm so sorry.  He's plastered to my sweaty body with fourteen yards of elaborately wound fabric.  You holding him is just not in the cards today."  Crisis averted.)  
* to calm fussiness when nothing else will 
* to prevent baby from being trampled when other kids are playing "Running of the Bulls"

You too, may be cut out for baby-wearing if:

* you don't mind still looking and feeling pregnant even after the baby is born
* you enjoy having spit-up down your shirt and in your bra
* you appreciate the feeling of a sweaty torso
* you're under the impression that a drool-soaked shirt is the height of fashion
* you feel like having your hair pulled by sticky hands is sort of like getting a head massage
* you use your baby accessories as an easy way to strike up conversations with other moms at the playground and can easily use fancy words like Mei Tai, ergonomic, and sciatica.
* you believe that it's not at all awkward to have a tiny person attached to you by various straps and buckles and knots

Even though I'm not a baby wearer, I have seven - seven! - different baby wearing "devices."  (What???)  

When we had our first child, Russ or I would carry Aaron around in a (hand-me-down) Baby Bjorn because that was the thing to do in the trendy neighborhood we lived in. The Bjorn hurt my back.  

Then when Dominic was born, an acquaintance assured me I could not manage a toddler and a newborn unless I had a ring sling, because unlike the Bjorn, the sling could hold a toddler on your hip or back.  So I went and got some material and metal rings and made a ring sling.  I used it occasionally, but never to wear the toddler on my hip or back, only the baby close to my chest.  The sling hurt my shoulder.  

Then when Ruth was about 1 1/5 we were planning a trip that would involve hiking in underground caves, so we bought a Kelty baby backpack.  Russ wore Ruth down into the caves, hundreds of feet deep in the earth's crust, and we almost had to leave the two of them down there for good because that dang backpack almost got stuck in some pretty tight crevasses.  I would occasionally wear Ruth when we'd do normal above-ground hiking, but it never lasted long because you know toddlers... they want to walk independently... and slowly.  When in use, the backpack is not at all painful, when not in use, it is a major pain to store. 

Russ with Clare - hike to the Eternal Flame, Chestnut Ridge State Park

Then when I was expecting Clare I started to panic at the thought of expecting a fourth child while simultaneously not expecting to grow another set of hands or receive the gift of bi-location.   So in a moment of sheer terror, and having the assurance from those who know about these things that a Moby Wrap was the most comfortable way to carry a newborn, I went out and bought material to make three Moby Wraps.  (I don't know why I did that.  One for at home, one for in the car, and one for in case the other two were torn off of me by the vicious wolves we might encounter in our local suburban nature preserve???) 

Well, anyway, I love the Moby.  It took me one Youtube video to figure out how to use it, and then I. used. it.  (not so much though, that it disintegrated into shreds and necessitated having three of them.)  The Moby is easy to use, so comfortable, has  no bizarre straps or clips to adjust.  As your baby gets bigger, you don't have to do anything to the carrier, it just always fits no matter what.  I mean, sure, you do look a little like Moses while you're putting it on, but a few minutes of looking like an Old Testament figure while in the parking lot is worth a 1/2 hour of blissfully sleeping Moby-wrapped baby in the store.   

I had Clare in the Moby a lot.  I liked the Moby a lot. 

Letchworth State Park. Clare in Moby ::

Nature walk.  Clare in Moby :)

But there was always something else out there.  Something was always tugging at me. That something was the elusive Ergo Baby carrier.  I had heard that it was the Cadillac of all baby wearing contraptions.  It was for infants and it was for toddlers.  It was for your front, your side, and your back.  And it was the most comfortable option out there.  But it was mucho dinero.  And what if we never had another baby?  Could I justify spending that much money on an Ergo that I might only use for one child???  I could not.  My husband definitely could not.  And everyone loves their Ergo so much they are very difficult to find second-hand.  I know because I looked for years.  

After James was born, he spent a lot of time in one of the three Moby Wraps - brown, purple, or red - whichever one suited my mood or had the least amount of sour breast milk on it.  

Did you know you could tuck your yarn in the Moby wrap and crochet as you go??

I resigned myself to the fact that the days of acquiring a new baby carrier for each new child that I had were at an end.  But... you know what my mom treated my sister and I to a few months ago????  Lovely, wonderful, versatile, comfortable, worthy-of-all-the-hype Ergo Baby carriers!  I can't say enough great things about the Ergo (and my mom!) It truly is the most comfortable baby carrier I've tried.  And the only negative thing I have to say regarding it is, Foolish, foolish me for not doing this sooner so we could have been enjoying it with all the previous babies!!!!  

James hidden by Ergo

Allow my ridiculously vast experience to be your guide if you are hoping to have a baby or two and think there's a reasonable chance that you'll want to wear your sweet little one: Moby for newborn.  Ergo for all the other years :)  Nothing else needed.

I'm not a "baby wearer" but... I guess I kind of am :)

And, oh yeah.  One of the other reasons I do it?  To shower that sweet-smelling, silky-soft head with kisses (without the added annoyance of bending over, of course!)