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Thursday, August 8, 2013

Headline: "Mom Test Runs New Scare Tactics in Home"

I just read this article this morning...

"Cop Cardboard Cutout Used to Cut Crime at Massachusetts Transportation Hub", wherein a strategically placed cutout of an imposing police officer has proved enough to reduce bicycle thefts by as much as 67% at a  Boston area subway station.  

This could be a very effective tool for moms in their own home. I mean, you know stuff happens behind your back.  You didn't witness it, but the aftermath is there: cookie crumbs leading from the pantry to a certain bedroom, a cerulean smear where it's obvious someone tried to clean up a spill of blue paint, or a shirt with a large zigzaggy hole in the back and a mysteriously missing pair of pinking sheers.  ("Mom, I mean it.  Those jagged edges are from shark's teeth.  A shark attacked this shirt, Mom.")

Can you imagine the effect that a cardboard cutout of Mom might have around the house?  A glaring face strategically placed above the cookie jar?  A wagging finger next to the art supplies?  A crossed-arms mom right behind her sewing supplies?  Or the best idea of all - a  mom who folds out of the fridge when the door is opened, sort of like a life-sized pop-up book.  There's a lot of potential here - the power of mom's steely-eyed gaze limited only by the number of old cardboard boxes you have to cut up.   

We don't even  have to form a research committee or launch any field tests to determine if this could work.  The effectiveness has already been proven by a major metropolitan police force.  If it works for them and major metropolitan criminals, surely it can work for me and my petty crimes crew. 

This concept is either sheer genius, or lazy parenting at it's worst - Mom resorts to scare tactics when she realizes her attempts at cultivating well-formed consciences in her children may not be working as well as she thought.  Either way, I had to know if this was a viable option.  

I decided to give it a try...



I have to admit, it had worked better in my imagination.

Perhaps you'll try it and have more luck.  Where would you keep a cardboard cutout mom??

18 comments:

  1. Ha!!!! This is hilarious.

    I'd keep mine in the kitchen, for sure. :)

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    1. Thanks, Sarah Yep, I'm pretty sure the kitchen is the winning location! It might even scare me into not snacking :)

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  2. So funny!!! I love the glasses! I would put one in front of the fridge, and another in front of the pantry... and maybe one outside each bedroom door for those won"t-stay-in-tucked-inners.

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    1. Best idea - right outside the rooms! There's so much that goes on up there after Mom and Dad head down for the night!

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  3. Replies
    1. it was pretty awkward trying to take a picture while not wearing them ;)

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  4. Love love love and I have to agree with everyone else...the glasses are so perfect!

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  5. So funny!! I love the glasses and hair! Mine would go outside the bedroom door and in the bathroom. As a reminder to flush, wash hands and to hang up the hand towel...

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    1. yeah - I'm with you on the flushing and hang up the towel... urrrrgh...

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  6. I think something like that would stop most kids from the fridge! Very well done. However I was disappointed to see in the comments that you didn't really implement it. Just done with the glasses for the camera.

    We have video baby monitors in the rooms. So we can um do yard work... Scratch that. have a few drinks with the neighbors while the children sleep and we can make sure they are soundly in bed instead of frantically searching for us.

    I've thought about getting fake cameras to put in the bathrooms and living rooms to make them feel like they are always watched however I'd like them to have integrity without always being watched.

    I may have to make a 'scare mom' for the bathroom sinks where our 3 year old likes to cover the toothbrushes etc with the hand soap. Hand soap has such an enjoyable texture.

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    1. Confession - I used to put soap on my sister's toothbrush and then tell her it was fun to lick it before you put the toothpaste on. (this was when I was very young. of course...)

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  7. Haven't been on-line in awhile and missed your blogs most of all...The cardboard Mom is HYSTERICAL!!! As for lunch, lettuce wraps with chopped anything,tuna, egg salad...Works in Asian restaurants no?...Checked in with Nella tonight too and I'm exhausted now...Keep up the great reads of your " not-so ordinary Lovlies" Much Love, Aunt Claire...

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  8. Ohhhhhh myyyy goooosh!! How did I miss this special gem?!?!?! This is AWESOME, T! LOL awesome!!!! I need one for my house!

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    1. Thanks, Heather! I've got your order. They'll be shipping out soon!

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  9. Bahahahaha! I need a mama fridge cop for sure!!! Then maybe I can take those plastic guard locks off the door and I can open my fridge freely like a normal person. What is it about boys and food??!!

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    1. Aren't child-proofing gadgets the worst?? Who comes up with these contraptions that even adults have a hard time cracking?!
      Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Elizabeth!

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