tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post5921380575413875454..comments2024-02-20T08:10:20.272-05:00Comments on Ordinary Lovely: His. Hers. Yours. Mine. Ours. (How we Handle Communal and Private Property in our Large-ish Family)Theresahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/09440812661317797011noreply@blogger.comBlogger19125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-40047210968989741202015-11-06T10:17:41.406-05:002015-11-06T10:17:41.406-05:00Thank you! Those are some great tips. I will have ...Thank you! Those are some great tips. I will have to try the "teaching" trick especially! He just started going to Good Shepherd (Montessori religious ed for 3-5 yr olds) and so he understands being shown how to do things before you can play with them... it would really resonate I'm sure!Caitlynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321216286329701603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-51859837623706565922015-10-27T15:07:08.439-04:002015-10-27T15:07:08.439-04:00Oh man. Good question. Thinking back on what it ...Oh man. Good question. Thinking back on what it was like when I had just the two boys is tricky :) I have a three year old and one year old (almost 2) now, so I'll give you some ideas that come to mind from "the past" and now....<br /><br />- We typically don't let young kids keep toys in their room. All toys are in communal areas. (My older boys (8 and 9) are getting to the age where they are starting to keep some age-appropriate toys in their room, though) Having toys in just the family room or play room helps physically and visually reinforce that they are "family toys."<br /><br />- My 3 year old (will be 4 in March) is absolutely old enough to appreciate my rule "either you share it, or YOU will be the one who loses the toy." If she can't play together with the baby than she won't play at all with that particular toy. If she puts up a fight, I can enforce this by having her sit in bed and when she comes down of her own accord it's with the understanding that she's ready to share (or play with something else ;) ) <br /><br />- I'll often encourage the toddler/preschooler to "teach" the baby how to use a toy. Then they're both getting "hands on" time with it and the older child feels "grown-up"! This seems to diffuse arguments pretty well. <br /><br />- Some toys are "baby" toys. As my kids outgrow toys, they're put away and only brought back out when the new baby is ready for them. This is another concrete way to show that not everything a child used to use/have belongs to him. <br /><br />- Finally, I often fall back on the old "just let the baby play with it for two minutes and I know he'll get over it quickly. The toy will be yours to use again soon." <br /><br />Hope some of that helps. It's always a tricky thing navigating "sharing" with young kids. But I'd rather they learn it young because it's really a non-negotiable skill in family life and all of life! Thanks so much for stopping by and commenting, Caitlyn! And congratulations on your pregnancy! Hope all goes well!Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09440812661317797011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-6715982040629089482015-10-27T13:36:42.817-04:002015-10-27T13:36:42.817-04:00A WAY late commenter here. I love your rules thoug...A WAY late commenter here. I love your rules though and I have been wanting to implement them a bit more in our household now that we have two toddlers. Our oldest is 3 and our second is 1 (third on the way!). Our oldest is already so stuck on what is his... you say that your kids understand these rules, but (if you remember) how do you start? It's so hard to get across to the 3 year old that he has to share "his" toys and books with his sister. He does listen well when it comes to doing things or keeping things out of her reach (puzzles at the table, his special toy up high if he doesn't want to share, etc). Any tips though on getting him to understand that basically ALL of the toys are communal and not just his?<br /><br />(It doesn't help that grandparents buy matching items of things, so they are by default "his" and "hers"...)Caitlynhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/08321216286329701603noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-75071758692093271652015-09-13T23:29:48.615-04:002015-09-13T23:29:48.615-04:00It does! Thank you! :)It does! Thank you! :)Catiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00383687550373527504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-75873559512077395472015-09-09T14:53:11.955-04:002015-09-09T14:53:11.955-04:00Hi Katie and Erin! (Erin, sorry that I seemed to ...Hi Katie and Erin! (Erin, sorry that I seemed to have missed your comment a few months ago and am just replying now. I usually try to be better about that....)<br />This is tricky territory, right? I probably pick from a few different options (depending on the situation) when my baby/toddler wants something that's clearly meant for older kids. Usually, the responsibility to "prevent a disaster" falls on my older children. For instance, if my boys are playing Legos in their room and it's not a good time for the baby to be in there, they're responsible for closing the baby gate. My girls have some marker paints and dot paints that they know have to stay stored away - they're one of the art supplies that the girls have to get permission to use, and I usually only let them use them while the baby is napping. Sometimes the big kids are working on a puzzle but forget how stupid it is to do that on the living floor (hello, baby magnet...) so I'll remind them to do it at the table (that was before the baby became a toddler who could climb ;) ) or take it to their rooms. We used to have a no-toys-in-bedrooms policy, but that doesn't hold up so well when your kids are such different ages. I may seem a little harsh to put the responsibility on the big kids to change what they're doing to avoid a toddler meltdown, but I'm being pulled in too many directions throughout the day to constantly be keeping the toddler away from toys/siblings/craft supplies, etc... I hope that my method eventually helps the kids to take increased responsibility for caring for their things. Hope that helps. A little ;)Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09440812661317797011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-90002564713640713822015-09-08T23:15:47.135-04:002015-09-08T23:15:47.135-04:00I'm wondering the same thing. (This article is...I'm wondering the same thing. (This article is so, so helpful!!) But we have a 2 year old and I'm not sure how to handle sharing between him and my 5 and 7 year old girls. I have no idea how to handle it. He wants everything that they have, and he simply cannot have "it" sometimes. I don't mind letting him throw a fit, but is that how you would handle it? Should I distract him? Or have the girls share with him more? I don't know. Catiehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00383687550373527504noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-40894105881582799112015-03-02T21:01:19.353-05:002015-03-02T21:01:19.353-05:00Great ideas!
I am wondering what other people do ...Great ideas! <br />I am wondering what other people do when a toddler wants to use an older child's things... I can understand that my 7 year old doesn't want her 3 year old sister to use the set of glitter makers she got for her birthday because there are only 5 of them and the 3 year old's coloring is, as would be expected for her age, not exactly"gentle." Anyone want to share how you handle having a younger child who is still learning how to use"big kid" toys be able to share while also keeping the older child from being worried about her things not getting ruined? Obviously things like makers are going to run out the more they are used...Erinhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05029296444906951529noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-1215857555692635692015-03-01T15:20:52.182-05:002015-03-01T15:20:52.182-05:00I did make them. I tried to search for the patter...I did make them. I tried to search for the pattern/tutorial I used to include it here but I couldn't find it. Pinterest is crawling with good doll patterns though if you're searching for one!<br />Thanks for stopping by and commenting, Rhianon :) Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09440812661317797011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-54225710954653856812015-03-01T15:14:47.548-05:002015-03-01T15:14:47.548-05:00Ah, kids sharing rooms/personal space is tricky! ...Ah, kids sharing rooms/personal space is tricky! Our two older boys share a room and our two girls share. So far, there hasn't bee too much drama, but I'm planning on it as the get older. I'll takes any tips you have on this, Christine!<br /><br />And second Christina - I think my boys have finally learned my take on Legos - it stinks if the little ones wreck a creation, but if it was left in an "at risk" spot, I don't have much sympathy. The really tricky thing is that our boys bedroom is also our basement play room, so all their Lego stuff is down there, but the girls are allowed to be down there also and sometimes bodies and toys collide with Lego creations and and.... sad faces all around. I guess it's one of those good life lessons you get growing up with siblings. Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09440812661317797011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-75283787126727248942015-03-01T15:08:48.186-05:002015-03-01T15:08:48.186-05:00here's a post from last year when I took a pic...here's a post from last year when I took a pic of the living room b/c it was finally clean! You can sort of see that shelf next to the window. Or - I put a pic of it on instagram after I rearranged the shelf yesterday, so if you watch the instagram slide show over the the right, it may pop up. <br /><br />http://ordinarylovely.blogspot.com/2014/03/im-back-conditionally.htmlTheresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09440812661317797011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-2225658229011003482015-03-01T15:03:08.998-05:002015-03-01T15:03:08.998-05:00Good point, Molly. I tend to lean toward better q...Good point, Molly. I tend to lean toward better quality stuff that will last also. And if it's going to be in the house for a while, I want to look nice too :) Mom reserves the right to get rid of ugly, noisy, annoying toys (even if they were gifts ;) ) Theresahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/09440812661317797011noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-64936643340883329872015-03-01T13:37:46.718-05:002015-03-01T13:37:46.718-05:00Where did you gets those dolls in the basket? Did ...Where did you gets those dolls in the basket? Did you make them yourself?Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-47733547081372148212015-02-28T01:00:54.578-05:002015-02-28T01:00:54.578-05:00I'm sure Ruth is looking forward to her own ap...I'm sure Ruth is looking forward to her own apartment ( and book!!!)...Love ya lots...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12245021844484076737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-9503321443802959392015-02-28T01:00:16.133-05:002015-02-28T01:00:16.133-05:00I'm sure Ruth is looking forward to her own ap...I'm sure Ruth is looking forward to her own apartment ( and book!!!)...Love ya lots...Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12245021844484076737noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-87692490691120048342015-02-26T17:24:41.994-05:002015-02-26T17:24:41.994-05:00This sounds so, so similar to our house rules. The...This sounds so, so similar to our house rules. The only thing we do have a "yours" rule for our kids is toys that the younger ones are obviously not ready for yet. Lego, for instance, the 5 year old received for his birthday and Christmas. He may share it with his 3 year old brother and is encouraged to do so when the 3 year old wants to play, but he is to only share when they are far away from the baby because the 3yo is more apt to drop pieces and not pick them up before they're in the baby's mouth. It's mostly a sanity saver for me. Your rules are so well laid out!Sarah Ohttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01392747766232779824noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-9105505687579164682015-02-26T12:53:13.853-05:002015-02-26T12:53:13.853-05:00We do the same thing. So far my oldest is the onl...We do the same thing. So far my oldest is the only one who really cares about things that are specifically his--mostly artwork and special treasures he's dug up--if he wants to keep those things safe he has to put them in a designated drawer in his room. If he leaves them out they are up for grabs. Same thing for lego creations. Since all three of my boys share a room the toddler can wreak havoc on lego "masterpieces." If they want to save them they must put them up on a designated shelf to (1) make sure their brother can't reach/destroy it and (2) signal to mom that it is special and still being used and therefore shouldn't be tidied up--which I tend to do ruthlessly with any offending legos left on the floor :) Cristinahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01242595555985631574noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-80852423701458717122015-02-26T07:31:45.887-05:002015-02-26T07:31:45.887-05:00Our "rules" are similar to yours. But we...Our "rules" are similar to yours. But we have one difference. Each child has one place that is specifically his, like a closet or a box under his bed. His personal things that he received and doesn't need to share must be in that closet or box when he's not using it. Our daughter is the most fortunate. Being that she is almost 15 and the only girl, she is the only one who gets a whole room to herself.Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17209807996463889703noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-12020527835662591372015-02-25T22:49:07.702-05:002015-02-25T22:49:07.702-05:00I promise I'll come back and read the whole po...I promise I'll come back and read the whole post when I get a chance, because it looks really interesting. But for now, I have a selfish question: do you have any photos in other posts that show more of those beautiful built-in bookshelves?! I've been hunting for ideas because we're preparing to build some of our own, and I'd love to get a better look at yours. I love that fluted molding down the side :-)Christinehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00662784804825998751noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8377582441405318696.post-58324279204588638772015-02-25T22:25:43.403-05:002015-02-25T22:25:43.403-05:00Obviously, I don't have experience with commun...Obviously, I don't have experience with communal child property at the moment. But our ideas of the things in our house are very similar - everything is a gift, a gift is meant to be treated properly and with respect or it can be taken away, specific things (screentime) are entirely dependent on good behavior.<br /><br />I do keep this in mind while I purchase things for H. in my mind except for a few specific things (a couple stuffed animals really are the only thing that comes to mind), I try to think that it's an investment for all my potential children. It also helps me focus on quality as much as I can.... cause mama really doesn't want to have to buy the same crappily made toy twice, or three times or more because it breaks between each kid.Anonymoushttps://www.blogger.com/profile/17904858990740505588noreply@blogger.com