Wednesday, May 13, 2015

My *First* First Communicant (How He Received Jesus and I Was Granted a Desire of My Heart)


My oldest child received his First Holy Communion last month!  The best and most important thing about that day was obviously the gift of Jesus himself, given to my son in the Eucharist for the first time.  Obviously.  My heart was overflowing with emotion - joy, pride, humbleness, gratitude -  at the immensity of the intimate moment between my Lord and my son.  But my heart was filled with a different kind of happiness as well, for we were able to celebrate his First Communion in the way that I had long desired.

The story sort of begins several years ago when I had very emphatically urged my husband to agree with me - we had to change parishes.  I had my "serious" reasons for leaving and he had his "serious" reasons for staying.  I couldn't persuade him and eventually made my peace with the fact that this was a decision for him to make as the head of our family.  I would follow his lead in obedience and not pester him about it again.  I had no idea at the time that remaining in our current parish would play a role in having a future prayer of my heart answered...

Because then the story begins again last year when we were given permission, albeit hesitantly, from our parish Director of Lifelong Faith Formation to prepare Aaron ourselves for his First Confession  (as opposed to sending him to religious education at the church.)  At that time I had also asked if there was any chance he could receive his First Communion that year as well - a year earlier than usual, as our parish reserves First Communion for third graders. Sort of selfishly, I suppose, I wanted my children to be able to receive the sacraments when we thought they were reasonably ready, not according to the parish timetable based on age instead of individual readiness.  It seemed to me that my request was evaded for a while and then eventually denied, and I was given the impression that it was a decision that came from our new pastor.  I was disappointed, but didn't pursue it, primarily because Aaron himself didn't seem too eager to jump from one new sacrament into the next, but also because we liked the new pastor, and felt that perhaps we were being called to practice patience and dying to our own desires through deference and obedience to his leadership.
  
While it still nagged at me,  it had become an issue about which I could do nothing.  Within the course of the next year there was a new Director in the Faith Formation Office, and we received the letters reminding us of all the expectations and meeting dates, etc... for the kids receiving First Confession and First Communion in the new year.  I grumbled and rolled my eyes, and grudgingly went to the first scheduled meeting for parents of the First Communicants.  My husband and I had decided, after all, that we would defer to our parish on the matter of the sacraments and would honor the decisions our pastor made on the matter.  In hindsight, I probably shouldn't have been so grumbly about leaving the house for that first meeting - you know, modeling cheerful obedience and all for my kids ;)

To make a long story short (sort of), that meeting proved to be an answer to prayer.  The new Director surprised me with his encouragement, faithfulness, and enthusiasm, but he really got my attention when, toward the end of the meeting he said something like, "And if you're out of town the weekend of the First Communion, that's not a problem at all.  Fr. M__ and I agree wholeheartedly that our parish operates on a "readiness model" and your sons and daughters will be able to receive the sacraments when they're ready.  If that's not the scheduled First Communion weekend, that is fine."  What?!?!?!  Did he just address one of the deepest desires of my heart in a let's-wrap-up-this-meeting off-handed remark?  I introduced myself to him afterward, assured him I'd love to hear more about that "readiness model," and told him I'd be in touch.  I'm pretty sure I went out to my car in the church parking lot singing God's praises out loud that night -- our pastor and I actually wanted the same thing for my children!   

Both Aaron and Dominic have since received sacraments according to their readiness.  Dominic made his First Confession the first weekend of Lent and Aaron received his First Communion the first Sunday after Easter.   Both occasions brought me so much joy, for in addition to being occasions of immeasurable outpouring of grace upon my sons, the sacraments were celebrated just how I believed was perfect for our family.

Since we homeschool and provide our own religious instruction at home, the 40 some other children in the First Communion class were not friends of Aaron's.  I think making his First Communion among a crowd of children he didn't know would have been much less meaningful for him and our whole family, than perhaps for the other boys and girls who were excited about receiving the sacrament with their friends.  I was much happier having Aaron surrounded at his First Communion by the men, women, children, and families we see each weekend at Mass.

That morning before Mass (Divine Mercy Sunday, no less!), our pastor greeted us and told us more than once how much he was in favor of families "presenting their children for the sacraments" before the community and celebrating in this way!  He chatted with Aaron and our other children, congratulated Aaron and fed his excitement a little before Mass began.  Father announced at the beginning Mass that it was Aaron's First Communion and invited our family to go up before the rest of the congregation for Communion.  Aaron received lots of love and congratulations from the community afterwards.  He received a card from our Mass friend, Mrs. Trudy, and even was given some small cash gifts from people we don't know very well!  We took his picture with the pastor and our deacon.  We had a small brunch at home afterward to celebrate, much like we do every Sunday after Mass, but this time there was cake!  And that was it.  As far as I was concerned, it was perfect.  Aaron was ready to receive the sacrament, and he did in a way that suited our family, and was special to him and our community. 

I am still praising and thanking God that it happened this way.  I couldn't have planned it better.  Truly, there was no planning involved; it was an answer to prayer that was a also a lesson in obedience and patience.  






There was no pious prayer-hands posing for this kid ;)





14 comments:

  1. That is awesome! It gives me hope for preparing my girls at home, for many of the same reasons. I am glad to see that the desire of your heart was given you in such a beautiful way.

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  2. We've had different experiences with each of our kids. The best was most certainly the year our third child skipped a grade, which happened to be the grade in which the kids receive First Reconciliation and First Communion. I homeschooled him over the summer, and he was able to receive both sacraments when we felt he was ready. It happened that he was ready soon after our 6th was born. It ended up being a Mass all about our family, with a baby's Baptism at the same Mass as his older brother's First Communion. In the 5 years since our 4th received his, things have changed. All 2nd graders receive their First Communion at the same special Mass. I am torn as to what to do next year, when our 5th receives his. I would really like to have his in a separate Mass, but I don't know how that idea will be received. Prayers for guidance have commenced. :)

    I'm so happy for Aaron (and you and your husband)! It's a marvelous occasion indeed.

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    1. I love the story of the combined Baptism and FHC for your family! What a wonderful family celebration!
      It can be so tricky to reconcile what best for an individual family and the parish at large. I'll keep you in my prayers as you plan for your next First Communion!

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  3. So loved reading your story and really appreciate your sharing. Isn't it amazing when often we as people stress and worry and get He has it. Had a similar situation recently bring this home to me.
    So very happy for you:):)

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  5. Sorry, I just saw there are a lot of typos! :(

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  6. That's so wonderful! I really love the "readiness model" too.

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  7. What a great thing for your parish to do that! It sounds like it was a joyful time all around! Maybe more parishes will start to follow the lead of your pastor.

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  8. What an awesome story! We're still trying to figure out how to navigate all of this... John Paul's almost 6, and is convinced he's going to receive his first communion on his 7th birthday! We've got a looong way to go!

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    1. That's so wonderful that he's anxious for the sacrament. I think that's the "rationale" that some parishes use for earlier First Holy Communion - first and second graders still have a lot of innocence, faith, trust, and enthusiasm for all things holy intact, whereas by the time third grade is almost over, some kiddos are getting more skeptical, questioning, and less enthusiastic. I haven't really seen this with my son, and from what I've heard from you, your son seems to be very keen on his Faith (!) but I could see this applying to a larger demographic for sure.
      Prayers for you as you move forward with the plans for him!

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  9. How beautiful! I love watching God's plans come together like that! :)

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  10. How beautiful! I love watching God's plans come together like that! :)

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  11. How beautiful! I love watching God's plans come together like that! :)

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